The fine print at the end of the Terrafirminator commercial: Terrafirminator will not inhibit grass from growing. Not recommended for residential use. Not recommended for commercial use either. Do not use vehicle while sleeping. Do not stick your fingers in tiller blades - duh! Not recommended for children under 3. Or 4. For external use only. After use, lawn may appear completely destroyed. do not be alarmed - this is perfectly normal. Side effects of using the Terrafirminator may include: Dry mouth. Heightened levels of testosterone. Nausea. Loss of hearing. Blurred vision. Ssslured speech. Voices telling you to burn things. Loss of bowel control. Persistent feelings of awesomeness. Tight hamstrings. Megalomania. In rare instances, some people may explode when viewing the Terrafirminator. Maker of the Terrafirminator will not be held responsible for damages, injury, or infidelity caused by the use of this product.

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