According to an interview with Alan Alda, the full joke Bert tries to tell is: "This woman's at her hairdresser's, and she says, 'I'm going to Rome on holiday.' He says, 'Oh really, what airline are you taking?' She says, 'Alitalia.' He says, 'Alitalia, are you crazy? That's terrible, don't take that.' He says, 'Where are you gonna stay?' She says, 'I'm gonna stay at The Hassler.' 'The Hassler! What, are you kidding? They're renovating the Hassler. You'll hear hammering all night long. You won't sleep. What are you gonna see?' She says, 'I think I'm going to try to go to the Vatican.' 'The Vatican? You'll be standing in line all day long!' So she goes to Rome, she comes back, and the hairdresser says, 'How was it?' She says, 'It was a great trip, it was wonderful.' 'How was the Vatican?' 'Wonderful, we happened to meet the Pope.' 'You met the Pope?' 'Yeah, and he spoke to me.' 'What did he say to you?' 'He said, "Where'd you get that f#ing haircut?"'"

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