Headlines on the cover of the Weekly World News tabloid the thug reads while guarding Drebin & Meinheimer are: "Legless boy somersaults 2 miles to save dad!", "STRICT PARENTS! Father sells his teen girls into slavery -- to make them behave!", "Militant anti-smoking group blamed after... TRICK CIGAR BLOWS MAN'S HEAD OFF!" (Subtitle: "He took two puffs and then BOOM!" says restaurant manager.) "Squabble over lottery ticket shatters family", "Pitbull eats mobile home", "Ancient dinosaur attacks and levels native village!", "DON'T EXERCISE: take it easy and live longer", "THE LONELY HEART: man goes shopping for a new bride", "It's a miracle! Rosary beads turn to gold after church pilgrimage" and one more that was illegible.

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