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Damon:
Momma where you goin?
Mrs. Pearly:
Im goin [...]
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D
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Damon:
Got my shank in case shit jump off in this [...]
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Officer Hole:
This is Officer Brian Dix. I'm Offic [...]
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D
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Craig Jones:
[after Day-Day walks in on he and Don [...]
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D
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Santa Claus:
[taking Day Day's baby picture]
That' [...]
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D
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Old man w/ shotgun:
Next time I'm gonna shoot at t [...]
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D
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Craig Jones:
Why every time you get a little posit [...]
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Mrs. Pearly:
So how much do you really love your b [...]
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Craig Jones:
[walks into kitchen to discover Burgl [...]
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Officer Hole:
Oh and when we find St. Nick, what d [...]
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D
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Santa Claus:
Gimme that watch!
[Elroy's Rolex]
U [...]
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D
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Craig Jones:
So all we gonna do is take it easy, m [...]
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Money Mike:
[Damon splashes water on Money Mike]
D [...]
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Craig Jones:
You need to work on yo people skills. [...]
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Money Mike:
[while holding Damon's balls with a vi [...]
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D
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Damon:
Who's that?
Craig Jones:
That's, uh... tha [...]
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Mr. Jones:
Elroy, don't you mess with this ba-ba-b [...]
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D
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Mr. Jones:
Lotto stud. Lotto fuckin' stud.
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Craig Jones:
[narrating]
Man, I couldn't believe h [...]
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Money Mike:
Let me check my palm pilot.
[looks at [...]
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D
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Old man w/ shotgun:
Stay outta my collard greens a [...]
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Craig Jones:
Look, he hit Santa ass!
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Day-Day:
I can't even do the James Brown in these [...]
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Craig Jones:
I convince Donna's fine ass to come b [...]
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Uncle Elroy:
[catching Craig and Day-Day smoking w [...]
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Bad Boy #1:
Man he don't look like no reindeer, he [...]
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D
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Old man w/ shotgun:
Come on out there! I know you' [...]
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D
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Craig Jones:
About a year ago, my pops quit his do [...]
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Money Mike:
Crunching on your balls in a one horse [...]
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Day-Day:
Man, What about the fine ass hos I had co [...]
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Craig Jones:
You can't talk to people like that. T [...]
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Day-Day:
I ain't goin'.
Craig Jones:
Stop being s [...]
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Craig Jones:
Ho-ho, Motherfucker!
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Sister Sarah:
[after being accosted by Craig and D [...]
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D
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Day-Day:
You like 'cause your son is a fag?
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D
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Damon:
[while Money Mike has plyers on his testicl [...]
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D
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Craig Jones:
[beaten up Moly walks in Barbeque res [...]
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Day-Day:
All I want is a fat bitch with a name bel [...]
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Cookie:
Oh, I heard about him. They call him the S [...]
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Craig Jones:
Get yo titty off my chin.
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Money Mike:
[holding Damon by the testicles with a [...]
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Day-Day:
One of them said they was gonna suck my d [...]
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Day-Day:
You gonna make me blow this whistle, I'll [...]
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[repeated line]
Mr. Jones:
Yeah, boy!
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Mr. Jones:
Gimme a twister. Make it two. Hold the [...]
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Mr. Jones:
Think of this: last year around this ti [...]
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Mr. Jones:
Have you seen our commercial?
Moly:
No [...]
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Day-Day:
Why'd you fire me, Pinky?
Pinky:
I had t [...]
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D
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Money Mike:
Can I help you?
Crime Brother #1:
No. [...]
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Money Mike:
Do y'all got a bathroom up in here? I [...]
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Craig Jones:
He looked like Bobby Brown in a godda [...]
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Craig Jones:
Jumpin' up like you Mr. Get Bad. Wher [...]
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Day-Day:
With that big ol' wolf pussy.
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Money Mike:
[to Donna]
Speaking of cockroaches, wh [...]
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D
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Craig Jones:
Man, I don't know if I can handle ano [...]
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D
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Damon:
[looking at Money Mike with crazed lust]
Cr [...]
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Girl Driver:
I ain't never heard no policy like th [...]
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Day-Day:
[interrupting a trio of carolers]
Heaven [...]
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Mr. Johnson:
[deleted scene]
I want you to change [...]
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Craig Jones:
What you need to do is grab one of th [...]
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Money Mike:
Don't drag that coat, it cost more tha [...]
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Craig Jones:
How is she gonna like you when she li [...]
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Day-Day:
[re: Craig]
This my big-head ass cousin. [...]
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Day-Day:
[to a trio of elderly carolers]
Y'all are [...]
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Officer Dix:
Open up, let's do this.
Officer Hole [...]
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Pinky:
[after hitting Santa Claus with the limo]
H [...]
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D
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Craig Jones:
You ain't evictin' nobody, 'less you [...]
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D
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Craig Jones:
[about Moly]
He ran the whole strip m [...]
|
D
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Day-Day:
Hey, I wanna ask you a question.
Moly:
O [...]
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D
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Moly:
[after Day-Day, Craig and Elroy got mugged b [...]
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D
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Damon:
Craig and Day-Day.
Day-Day:
Ohh...
Damon: [...]
|
D
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Day-Day:
[to Elroy]
Daddy, he gon' shoot yo ass! G [...]
|
D
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Day-Day:
All want Santa Claus is two fat bitches a [...]
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D
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Crime Brother #2:
Yo, where the rent-a-cops at?
|
D
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Moly:
[while smoking a cigar]
Take lunch, one half [...]
|
D
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Santa Claus:
You remind me of them old players tha [...]
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D
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Officer Dix:
For the second time, y'all got jacked [...]
|
D
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Mr. Jones:
I look better than you!
Uncle Elroy:
Y [...]
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D
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Craig Jones:
[after Santa got hit by Pinky's limo] [...]
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D
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Day-Day:
[screaming]
Y'all hear me blowing this wh [...]
|
D
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Santa Claus:
[robbing Craig and Day-Day's refriger [...]
|
D
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Craig Jones:
Tasha, how do we look?
Tasha:
Like a [...]
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D
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Broadway Bill:
I'm appalled.
Craig Jones:
You ain [...]
|
D
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Day-Day:
Damn, Daddy, you got another one? You gon [...]
|
D
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Damon:
Y'all look good in y'all little tight-ass r [...]
|
D
|
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Craig Jones:
You heard what happened to the last s [...]
|
D
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Money Mike:
25% off. Everything must go. Maybe eve [...]
|
D
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Craig Jones:
[to Officer A. Hole]
Do your fuckin j [...]
|
D
|
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Day-Day:
It ain't ya booty, it's ya beauty.
|
D
|
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Craig Jones:
[offering Day Day a joint]
Light it u [...]
|
D
|
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Craig Jones:
[to Elroy and Willie]
Y'all argue too [...]
|
D
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Money Mike:
I was just gonna get drunk and watch t [...]
|
D
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Officer #3:
Oh yeah, you got a big pile of dog shi [...]
|
D
|
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Uncle Elroy:
Where your flashlight at? Rent-a-cops [...]
|
D
|
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Craig Jones:
[getting robbed]
I ain't got nothin [...]
|
D
|
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Pinky:
[Pinky's limo hit Santa Claus; to C.W]
Ain' [...]
|
D
|
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Pinky:
[outside the bathroom door]
Say, nugga! Thi [...]
|
D
|
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Money Mike:
[a pimp manniquin falls on Mike, pinni [...]
|
D
|
|
Day-Day:
Here's your lil' stanky-ass whistle!
|
D
|
|
Craig Jones:
You remedial.
Day-Day:
What does tha [...]
|
D
|
|
Mrs. Pearly:
Oh yeah, Craig, tell yo fine daddy I [...]
|
D
|
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Craig Jones:
[sees that Sister Sarah with those bo [...]
|
D
|
|
Craig Jones:
The clothes don't make the player, th [...]
|
D
|
|
Craig Jones:
We the victims, man. We the victims. [...]
|
D
|
|
Money Mike:
Hold up, wait a minute, let me put som [...]
|
D
|
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Craig Jones:
[after Mrs. Pearly seduced Willie and [...]
|
D
|
|
Craig Jones:
Day-Day, we only security guards, oka [...]
|
D
|
|
Money Mike:
[coming out of the apartment, holding [...]
|
D
|
|
Money Mike:
[Craig hands him back his razor]
Never [...]
|
D
|
|
Officer Hole:
Makes me wanna go home and lock up a [...]
|
D
|
|
Mr. Jones:
[to Moly]
Hope your camel got a ticket [...]
|
D
|
|
Day-Day:
You oughta be nervous. You a black cop.
|
D
|
|
Day-Day:
All I want is two fat bitches that smell [...]
|
D
|
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Moly:
You guys are top-flight security, best in th [...]
|
D
|
|
Craig Jones:
Yo, Mama. Big Mama, you alright?
Gra [...]
|
D
|
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Craig Jones:
That's right. Got my ass back in the [...]
|
D
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Mrs. Jones:
[Mrs. Pearly has seduced Willie]
Willi [...]
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D
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