DiCinema

[from trailer]

[the following is heard over various scenes from the film]

Trailer reader:
Remember my voice? I do trailers. All kinds of trailers. One day they'll put me in a film - the proper full-length job - until then I'm just stuck with this sort of stuff. "Go and see this," "don't miss that," "the most terrifying thing you ever saw is coming to baby-sit for you tonight."
Trailer director:
Alright, cut it there. Look, just read what's on the script, will you?
Trailer reader:
The what?
Trailer director:
The script! Other way up!
Trailer reader:
Ah!
[clears throat]

Trailer reader:
Ready?
Trailer director:
Yes. Yes.
Trailer reader:
You flocked to see Brief Encounters for the special effe...
Trailer director:
"Close"!
Trailer reader:
Huh? Oh, "Close Encounters"
Trailer director:
Close Encounters! The film.
Trailer reader:
Oh, I never saw that.
Trailer director:
Well forget that film, we're on about *our* film. Time Bandits.
Trailer reader:
What?
Trailer director:
Time Bandits! The one you are supposed to be promoting! Remember?
Trailer reader:
[clears his throat again]
You flocked to see Close Encounters for the special effects. You went to Superman to see a man fly. You went to Star Wars for the droids. You went...
Trailer director:
Now what?
Trailer reader:
Where's page 2, man?
Trailer director:
It's under page 1! See?
Trailer reader:
[mumbling to himself]
... you went to Star Wars...
[finds his place]

Trailer reader:
Time Bandits can offer you much, much more. It's not the special effects, nor flying men, nor droids which makes Time Bandits a unique cinematique... cinema...
Trailer director:
"Cinematic"! You know, pertaining to the cinema!
Trailer reader:
...cinematic experience. It's the make-up. Yes, folks, you've never seen anything like it: men made up to look like monsters! Monsters made up to look like men! Look-alike men made up to look different, different men made up to look alike! No expense has been pared... spared on the pan-shtick... pan-stick... No expense has been spared flying in the world's greatest make-up men...
Trailer director:
Just a minute, just a minute. What about the plot?
Trailer reader:
The what?

Film

I banditi del tempo (1981)

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