Fiorello:
Can you read?
Otis B. Driftwood:
[holds the contract close to his face]
I can read, but I can't see it.
Otis B. Driftwood:
[holds the contract further away from his face]
Don't seem to have it in focus here... If my arms were a little longer, I could read it. You haven't got a baboon in your pocket, have you? Here, here, here we are, now I've got it. Now pay particular attention to this first clause, because it's most important. It says:"The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part." How do you like that? That's pretty neat, eh?
Fiorello:
No, that's no good.
Otis B. Driftwood:
What's the matter with it?
Fiorello:
I don't know. Let's hear it again.
Otis B. Driftwood:
It says "The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part."
Fiorello:
Well, it sounds a little better this time.
Otis B. Driftwood:
Well, it grows on you. Would you like to hear it once more?
Fiorello:
Well, just the first part.
Otis B. Driftwood:
What do you mean, "The party of the first part"?
Fiorello:
No: the first part of "the party of the first part".
Otis B. Driftwood:
All right, it says: "The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract..." Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Fiorello:
[chuckles as Driftwood and Fiorello tear off part of the contract]
Yeah, it's-a too long, anyhow. Now what do we got left?
Otis B. Driftwood:
Well, I've got about a foot-and-a-half. Now it says here: "The party of the second part shall be known in this contract as the party of the second part."
Fiorello:
Well, I don't know about that.
Otis B. Driftwood:
Now what's the matter?
Fiorello:
I no like-a the second party, either.
Otis B. Driftwood:
Well, you should have come to the first party. We didn't get home 'til around 4:00 in the morning. I was blind for three days.
Fiorello:
Hey look: Why can't the first part of the second party be the second part of the first party? Then you got something.
Otis B. Driftwood:
Well, look, uh... rather than go through all that again, what do you say?
Fiorello:
Fine.
[Driftwood and Fiorello each tear out another section of the contract]

Film

Una notte all'opera (1935)

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