Beatrice:
Is Signior Mountanto returned from the wars or no?
Messenger:
I know none of that name, lady.
Hero:
My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua.
Messenger:
Oh, he's returned and as pleasant as ever he was.
Beatrice:
I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? For indeed I promised to eat all of his killing.
Messenger:
He hath done good service and a good soldier too, lady.
Beatrice:
And a good soldier to a lady. But what is he to a lord?
Messenger:
A lord to a lord. A man to a man, stuffed with all honorable virtues.
Beatrice:
It is so, indeed. He is no less than a stuffed man.
Leonato:
You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her. They never meet, but there's a skirmish of wit between them.
Beatrice:
Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother.
Messenger:
He is most in the company of the right and noble Claudio.
Beatrice:
O lord! He will hang upon him like a disease. He is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! If he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cured.
Messenger:
I will keep friends with you, lady.
Beatrice:
[Chuckles]
Do, good friend.
Leonato:
You will never run mad, niece.
Beatrice:
No, not till a hot January.

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Molto rumore per nulla (1993)

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