DiCinema

Eddie Dash, George:
[Eddie and George are walking out of the duck blind back towards the car]

George:
[singing]
Be kind to your web-footed friends, for a duck maybe somebody's mother...
Eddie Dash:
Would you knock it off with the web-footed friends shit?
George:
Oh, I'm sorry Eddie, I'm just thinking about all those poor little ducks!
Eddie Dash:
Wait!
[Eddie stops]

George:
What?
Eddie Dash:
I heard something.
George:
What?
Eddie Dash:
It was a bear!
George:
Oh!
[George runs away a short distance, then looks back at Eddie]

George:
Where?
Eddie Dash:
[loading his shotgun]
Hold on, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get it
George:
Oh! Eddie, you're right! There is a bear!
Eddie Dash:
I know, I'm gonna...
[Eddie hears a roar behind him, and slowly turns around to see a large kodiak bear standing behind him]

Eddie Dash:
Aaaaaaahhhh! Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
George:
[hands raised, walking toward the bear]
Don't worry, Eddie, Don't worry.
Eddie Dash:
Ahhhhhhh! He's gonna rip off your dick!
George:
[hands still raised]
We want to express... Love, to you.
[the bear still is standing, looking at George]

George:
Now, if you can understand what I'm saying, wave your right paw
[the bear waves his right paw growling]

George:
and now the left one
[the bear waves the left paw and growls]

George:
Good!
George:
We just came from the cabin a little while ago, and saw some of your friends stuffed, and let me tell you we were pretty sick by it...
George:
[the bear waves his paw and growls]
Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, rest assured, Eddie and I would never harm any of God's creatures like that.
Eddie Dash:
George, get the fuck out of the way, I'm gonna shoot it!
George:
[George raises his hands and starts walking back towards Eddie]
No Eddie, don't shoot. Don't shoot!...
Eddie Dash, George:
Blam! Blam!
[the camera pans back to Rupert, who has been listening to George and Eddie via a hidden microphone on George's hunting jacket. Rupert looks down at a complete file makeup of George as Abe Fielding, sighs, and closes the folder]

Film

Non dirmelo... non ci credo (1991)

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