DiCinema

Kumar:
[walks up to a bush and starts peeing]
Ahh.
[Creepy Guy walks up out of nowhere and starts peeing right next to him]

Kumar:
'Scuse me, I just...
Creepy Guy:
Huh?
Kumar:
I have to ask you, why'd you... wha... wha... why are you peeing... right here?
Creepy Guy:
What?
Kumar:
I mean... why'd you pee right next to me when you could like, choose that bush, or...
Creepy Guy:
Well, this bush looked like I should pee on it. Why are you peeing on it?
Kumar:
Well, no one was here when I chose this bush.
Creepy Guy:
Oh, so you get to pee on it and no one else does? Huh?
Kumar:
No, it's just... I just...
Creepy Guy:
This your bush? You have a special bond with this bush?
Kumar:
No, I just thought that...
Creepy Guy:
You the king of the forest?
Kumar:
I'm sorry?
Creepy Guy:
What?
Creepy Guy:
You fuckin' tree-hugger. IS THIS YOUR SPECIAL BUSH?
Kumar:
Never mind. Forget it, I really don't feel like gettin' stabbed tonight.
[they pee in silence for a bit]

Creepy Guy:
[quietly]
Nice pubes.
Kumar:
[pauses, creeped out]
Thanks.

Film

American Trip - Il primo viaggio non si scorda mai (2004)

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