[Lynda's argument with her father causes a scene in the tea room]

Cafe Manager:
[to Lynda]
You're fired. You are dismissed. Get out.
Lynda Mansell:
No, I won't.
[to crowd]

Lynda Mansell:
This one goes around with his brown nose up in the air, down on the carpet, la-di-da this, la-di-da that. The cook spits in the buns and we all piss in the teapots.
[customer looks at her drink]

Cafe Manager:
That is enough. Out!
Hubert:
[speaking over Lynda]
She's a bad lot, and that's the truth. Nothing but trouble, that's the way it's always been.
Lynda Mansell:
That's my father speaking.
Hubert:
Ever since she could speak, she's uttered nothing but filth. From the day she uttered her first word, her tongue has caused nothing but trouble.
Lynda Mansell:
This is my father.
Hubert:
Sometimes I doubt it.
Lynda Mansell:
An insult to my dead mother.
Cafe Manager:
I'm sorry, this cannot go on.
Lynda Mansell:
[jumps up on table]
I'm up the duff! That's what's up his nose. I'm pregnant in the club!
[some patrons leave]

Cafe Manager:
Right, that's it! That's enough.
Lynda Mansell:
A willy has entered my person and left a little visitor behind!
[boss goes to get authorities]

Hubert:
Get down.
Cafe Manager:
This is a matter for the police!
Lynda Mansell:
[points to father]
This is my father who once gave one to Gracie Fields!
Hubert:
Down!
Cafe Manager:
I'm calling the police.
Lynda Mansell:
[mocking]
A member of the British Legion!
Hubert:
Get down!
Lynda Mansell:
[to crowd]
Am I the only one that does it?
Hubert:
This is not my daughter.
Lynda Mansell:
What do you lot do, eh?
Hubert:
Not my daughter.
Lynda Mansell:
What do you lot play with in bed at night, eh?
Hubert:
I disown her!
Lynda Mansell:
Hands up, all those that like willies! I do!
Cafe Manager:
The police are coming!
Lynda Mansell:
Balls!
Hubert:
Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to apologize for this disgraceful display...
Lynda Mansell:
So what, I'm up the duff, who cares?
Hubert:
I will settle.
Lynda Mansell:
[cheers]
I like willies!
Cafe Manager:
[to Hubert]
Now, get her down!
Hubert:
All these teas on me. Right?
Lynda Mansell:
Sex! All of you. All you old bags look as if you could do with a nice bit of hot willy!
Cafe Manager:
Get her down!
Lynda Mansell:
[cheers]
*Seeeexxxx!*
[a chef grabs Lynda from the table but both take a tumble, knock over Hubert, all three fall to the floor as dishes crash]

Film

Vorrei che tu fossi qui! (1987)

Persone

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