Bill Maher:
New rule: now that he's suing me for $5 million because he says he's proved that he is not the love child of an orangutan...
[audience laughter]
Bill Maher:
...Donald Trump must learn two things: what a joke is and what a contract is.
[laughter and applause]
Bill Maher:
Now, let me catch you up on all the... how all this got started. During the last week of the presidential campaign last year, Donald Trump, who previously had been a one-issue candidate obsessed with Obama's birth certificate, announced that he would give $5 million to charity if Obama produced his college records; because a black guy getting into college? Something fishy there.
[audience laughter]
Bill Maher:
So playing on the fact that the only other thing in nature with the same color hair as Trump's is the orange-haired orangutan, I joked that Donald Trump needed to show me his papers to prove he wasn't hiding a bad secret about his birth. This is known as parody, and it's a form of something we in the comedy business call a joke.
[audience laughter]
Bill Maher:
Naturally, I also aped, if you will, Trump's offer of money to a charity of his choosing, which I identified as the Hair Club for Men.
[audience laughter]
Bill Maher:
Really? We're going to court about this? Well, this upset the Donald so much they could barely get him to stop flinging his feces.
[audience laughter]
Bill Maher:
Now... now, public figures, of course, don't always like everything that's said about them, but that's how we roll here in America. Just like we're the gun country, we're the joke country. We love our free speech, and we love celebrities getting taken down a peg. So, Don, just suck it up like everybody else.
[applause]
Bill Maher:
But no. Nope. Not Trump. His lawyer sent me a letter; I shit you not, this is real. His lawyer sent me a letter that says, and I quote, "Attached hereto is a copy of Mr. Trump's birth certificate, demonstrating that he is the son of Fred Trump and not an orangutan".
[raucous laughter]
Bill Maher:
Do these morons even know it's impossible for people and apes to produce offspring? And look at the... look at the lawyer's signature; it just kind of trails off, as if to say "I'm too embarrassed to even finish this."
[laughter]
Bill Maher:
"Scott S... oh, fuck it, I'm Trump's lawyer."
[laughter]
Bill Maher:
So I ignored the letter, like I ignore all letters I get from crazy people, and I forgot about the whole thing until this week, when Trump and his lawyer, pictured here...
[a picture of a chimpanzee in a suit is shown, to raucous laughter]
Bill Maher:
When they actually sued me for the five million. And don't forget, this is not a libel case. No, no. They seem to be trying to set a bold new precedent that jokes on late-night talk shows are now legally binding agreements between the comedian and the person they're making fun of. Yes, I'm sure this will go all the way to the Supreme Court.
Riportata da il
05/03/2025 alle ore 08:47
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