DiCinema

Robin Williams:
[On his wife about to give birth]
You get her into the delivery room, which is a very subtle place. Bullshit! It's Earl Shieb's living room! Bright, bright lights! She's screaming like crazy! You're like, "Let's breathe, honey."
[Does Lamaze breathing]

Robin Williams:
"Let's breathe."
[Does it again]

Robin Williams:
Because, you have this myth that you're sharing the birth experience.
[laughter]

Robin Williams:
Nope, I don't think so. Unless you're passing a bowling ball, I don't think so. Unless you're circumsizing yourself with a chainsaw, I don't think so! Unless you're opening up an umbrella up your ass, I don't think so! You're not doing diddly-squat! You're along for the ride! HAHAHA! And you're there breathing and hyperventilating, and she's like, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? WHY DON'T YOU KNOCK ME OUT, YOU ASSHOLE?" And usually there's an anesthesiologist over in the corner going,
[Breathes into the mask, then mellow high voice]

Robin Williams:
"You need anything, man?"
[Imitating her doing so and fighting with the anesthesiologist over the mask]

Robin Williams:
She sees him, and she wheels her ass over there, "GIMME THAT YOU DUMB STONED PRICK!"
[He then imitates her breathing into the mask and calming down, now mellow]

Robin Williams:
I'll get it out.
[laughs]

Robin Williams:
Oh, and after ten, fifteen hours of sheer bliss... you're rewarded with a baby.
[laughs]

Robin Williams:
But bullshit, it's not a baby, it's a little old man dipped in Forty Weight. Don't you see? It's like Gandhi and Churchill had a child, you know what I'm saying?

Film

Robin Williams: An Evening at the Met (1986)

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