Korg:
Come. Come gather round, and listen to the legend of the Space Viking. A.K.A. the God of Thunder. A.K.A. Thor Odinson.
[pause]
Korg:
Raised in the way of the warrior, Thor was taught to help win battles, fighting the good fight for those who can't fight good. He grew, and he grew, and he grew. He was sensitive, like a smile. And his loving nature did not discriminate. He once loved a swashbuckling Passionista. Another time, he loved a Wolf Woman, on a Woman Wolf.
[pause]
Korg:
But Thor's one true love was an Earth woman named Jane Fonda. Oh, wait. No. Jane Foster. But sadly, in the battle for love, Thor lost. In fact, he lost a lot of people in those days. His mum. His dad. And that guy. And that guy. And whoever that is. And Heimdall. And his brother. And his brother, again. And again.
[pause]
Korg:
Poor Thor had to watch his planet explode. And then he said, 'What have I done?' It seemed that everything and everyone he loved, he lost. And so he hid his heart behind a big, fleshy bod, so it could never be broken again.
[pause]
Korg:
But just because he was done loving, didn't mean he was done fighting. He teamed up with the Guardians of the Galaxy and set off on some classic Thor adventures. He got in shape, putting in the hard yards. Taking pains into gains and never skipping leg day. He went from dad bod to God bod. But beneath this God bod, there was still a sad bod just trying to get out. Because all of the bods that Thor had worn over the years couldn't hide the pain that he was feeling on the inside.
[pause]
Korg:
So he gave up his search for love, accepting he was only good for one thing... Waiting in quiet contemplation for someone to say, 'Thor, we need your help to win this battle.'
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05/03/2025 alle ore 08:01
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