DiCinema

Rick Grimes:
[while sitting in their squad car, eating burgers and fries together]
What's the difference between men and women?
Shane Walsh:
This a joke?
Rick Grimes:
No. Serious.
Shane Walsh:
Never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light. Born thinking the switch only goes one way: on. They're struck blind the second they leave the room. I mean, every woman I ever let have a key, I swear to God, it's like... come home, house all lit up. And my job is, apparently, because... because my chromosomes happen to be different, 'cause I gotta walk through that house, turn off every single light this chick left on.
Rick Grimes:
Is that right?
Shane Walsh:
Yeah, baby, mmm. Oh, Reverend Shane's a-preachin' to ya now, boy.
[They laugh]

Shane Walsh:
Then, this same chick, mind ya, she'll bitch about Global Warming. See this...
[Shane laughs]

Shane Walsh:
This is when Reverend Shane wants to quote from the "Guy" gospel and say, "Um, Darlin', maybe you and every other pair of boobs on this planet just figure out that the light switch, see, goes both ways, maybe we wouldn't have so much Global Warming".
Rick Grimes:
You say that?
Shane Walsh:
Well, a, uh, polite version.
[laughs]

Shane Walsh:
Still, man, that, that earns me this, this look of loathing you would not believe. And that's when "The Exorcist" voice pops out: "YOU SOUND JUST LIKE MY DAMN FATHER ALWAYS, ALWAYS YELLING ABOUT THE POWER BILL, TELLING ME TO TURN OFF THE DAMN LIGHTS!"
Rick Grimes:
And what do you say to that?
Shane Walsh:
Know what I want to say. I want to say, "Bitch, you mean to tell me you've been hearing this your entire life and you are too damn stupid to learn how to turn off the switch?"
[Shane and Rick laugh more]

Shane Walsh:
You know I...
[They continue laughing]

Shane Walsh:
... I don't actually say that, though.
Rick Grimes:
[Still laughing]
That would be bad.
Shane Walsh:
Yeah. Yeah. I'd go with the, uh, go with the polite version there, too.
Rick Grimes:
Very wise!
Shane Walsh:
Yes, sir.
[laughs]

Rick Grimes:
Mm-hmm.
Shane Walsh:
[Few moments of silence]
So, how's it with Lori, man?
Rick Grimes:
She's good. She's good at turning off lights. Really good. I'm the one who, sometimes, forgets.
Shane Walsh:
What a man.
Rick Grimes:
We didn't have a great night.
Shane Walsh:
Hey, look, man, I may have, uh, a phantom muse with mu sermon, but I did try. Least you could do is speak.
Rick Grimes:
That's, that's what she always says. "Speak". "Speak". Think I was the most closed-mouth son-of-bitch ever to hear her talk.
Shane Walsh:
Do you express your thoughts? Do you share your feelings? That kind of stuff?
Rick Grimes:
Thing is... lately, whenever I try, everything I say makes her... impatient, like she didn't want to hear it after all. It's like she's... pissed at me all the time and I don't know why.
Shane Walsh:
Look, man, that's just shit that couples' go through. Yeah, it's a, it's a phase.
Rick Grimes:
[laughs a little]
Last thing she said this morning: "Sometimes, I wonder if you even care about us at all". She said that in front of our kid. Imagine going to school with that in your head. The difference between men and women? I would never say something that cruel to her and certainly not in front of Carl.

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The Walking Dead