[accepting an acting award on a co-star's behalf]
David Forbert:
Thank you Vanessa. Ladies and gentlemen, what a delight it is to accept this award on behalf of my close, personal... acquaintance John Daniels. John cannot unfortunately except it himself because he is in Hollywood. Starring in his first mayor film role. With Meryl Streep. I am however not in Hollywood. Not having been offered even a minor role in an eight millimeter pornographic movie. But what a delightful object it is that John has won. Although you know I'm sure I will very soon receive one myself when I next buy ten gallons of petrol at a Texaco filling station. So what is it that Johnny has got that makes him stand apart from other actors of his generation? Well, I think we all know the answer to that one. Syfillis. And what a great and hartwarming thing it is... that he has already started passing it on to a whole new generation of younger actors. Of course, to win an acting award is always a great honour, but to receive one here, in the hart of London's famous West End on an occasion such as this... hugely dimishes that honour. What could be more dull than these sorted, backslapping sessions where has-beens in tuxedo's hand over to even older has-beens in tuxedo's awards for plays that closed the week before they opened because the audiences were clamouring instead for tickets to Andrew Lloyd Webber's latest re-arrangement of Evita to suit the vocal range of Kylie Minogue? I therefore cannot say what a delight it is that John has won this award instead of me. And I should like to announce my retirement from the acting profession in order to begin a life-time of work amongst the mentally handicapped. In which capacity I look forward to meeting all the members of the judging panel very soon. Thanks very much.
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05/03/2025 alle ore 09:00
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