DiCinema

George Carlin:
Personally, I never take any special precautions against germs. I don't shy away from people who sneeze and cough, I don't wipe off the telephone, I don't cover the toilet seat, and if I drop food on the floor, I pick it up and *eat it*! I eat it! Yes I do! Even if I'm at a sidewalk cafe. In *Calcutta*! The poor section! On New Year's morning, during a soccer riot! And you know something? In spite of all that so-called risky behavior, I never get infections. I don't get 'em. I don't get colds, I don't get flu, I don't get headaches, I don't upset stomachs, and you know why? 'Cause I got a good strong immune system, and it gets a lot of practice. My immune system is equipped with the biological equivalent of fully-automatic military assault rifles, with night vision and laser scopes. And we have recently acquired phosphorous grenades, cluster bombs, and anti-personnel fragmentation mines. So, when my white blood cells are on patrol, keeping order in my bloodstream, seeking out strange and other undesirables, if they see any, ANY suspicious-looking germs of any kind, they *don't fuck around*! They whip out the weapons, they wax the motherfucker, and deposit the unlucky fellow directly into my colon! Into my colon! There's no nonsense, there's no Miranda warning, there's none of that "three strikes and you're out" shit. First offense, bam! Into the colon you go!

Film

George Carlin: You Are All Diseased (1999)

Persone

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