Margaret:
Hi, Ted. I'm Margaret. You sound down. Is your New Year's not starting off well?
Ted the Bellhop:
No, Margaret. This New Year's Eve is not starting off well! This one is going pretty fucking badly!
Margaret:
How come?
Ted the Bellhop:
Well, Betty leaves me to run this entire hotel by myself. And first thing, right off the bat, I get fucked by a coven of witches!
Margaret:
You got fucked by an oven full of witches?
Ted the Bellhop:
A *coven* of *witches*! Well, one witch in particular!
Margaret:
Ted, was she an old hag with a mole on her face with hair growing out of it?
[takes a hit from her bong]

Ted the Bellhop:
No, no, no, she was very beautiful.
Margaret:
[coughs]
Ted... what's the problem?
Ted the Bellhop:
Well... admittedly, that was the best part of the evening. It was pretty bloody good, actually... but it's still a pretty unnerving way to start off the night!
Margaret:
Sounds like a pretty great way to start off the night to me.
Ted the Bellhop:
Why don't we just skip over the witches?
Margaret:
Skipping the witches...

Film

Four Rooms (1995)

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