[being given the original "Superman Reborn" screenplay]

Kevin:
He said, "Why don't you take the script home, read it, and tell me what you think of it." I read the script and was like: "This is fucking terrible. This is a horrible script." It was really, really bad. It was kind of like the Batman TV-show version of a Superman movie. Very campy. I went back to Warner Bros., sat down with the dude. He was like, "What did you think?" I said, "It was quite bad." He said, "'Bad' meaning good?" I said, "No, bad. Fucking terrible." And I'm going on for about five minutes how bad the script is: "Did you pay somebody to write this? Is the writer somebody's cousin? Who let somebody write this script? You paid this dude? Can you get the money back? Because this is horrendous." He was looking at me, nodding and going, "Well, thanks for coming in." I called my friend Walter in Jersey. He's a big comic book fan. I was like: "I went into Warner Bros. And told them their Superman script sucked. Revel, revel. Jersey, represent. Fuck Hollywood!" Walter's like, "Why didn't you offer to write it better?" And I was like...
[blank stare]

Kevin:
Because I hadn't thought of that. I said, "Fuck!" But the next day my agent called: "They want to see you at Warner Bros." I said, "Really? All right." So I went back. It was the same dude I talked to originally... and there was another dude. The first guy was like: "Do me a favor, tell him what you told me about the Superman script." And I was like, "All right. It's bad. Sucks. Did your cousin write it?" Did that for about five minutes, and they just nodded and then they're like, "Well, thanks for coming in." I went home. The next day, got another call from my agent: "They wanna meet with you at Warner Bros. Again." I said, "All right." Because I really didn't have much to do. So I go back, and it's the two dudes and now there's a third dude. They're all in a semi-circle of chairs, and the first two guys are like: "Tell him what you told us about the Superman script." I just imagined it as a kind of water cooler situation. One guy's standing at the water cooler with somebody, and he was like: "You should hear what the Clerks dude said about the Superman script." The other guy's like, "What'd he say?" He's like, "Fuck it. Just bring him in." So I told them again, and it went on like that for a whole week. I'd go back, there'd be another person. I kept saying the same shit. Finally, I got to the guy at the top, Lorenzo di Bonaventura. Now there's six to eight guys at a large table. They're all like, "Tell Lorenzo what you told us about Superman. " I did my spiel, and Lorenzo said, "What would you do differently?" I said, "I hadn't thought about it, but you could try this and that." He's like, "We'll give you a shot at it." I said, "All right. Awesome."

Film

An Evening with Kevin Smith (2002)

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