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Ben Stone: [during earthquake] FUCK ME!	D
Ben Stone: Think they'll take us back? Pete: Yes. [...]	D
Sadie: Where do babies come from? Debbie: Where d [...]	D
Pete: [to Ben Stone] Marriage is like that show Ev [...]	D
Debbie: God, you're an asshole. Pete: Don't do th [...]	D
Jason: Granted, gynecology is only a hobby of mine [...]	D
Alison Scott: Just do it!	D
Alison Scott: Is she camera ready ?	D
Pete: Never do what they did. Charlotte: I'm gonn [...]	D
Alison Scott: I'm pregnant. Ben Stone: Pregnant.. [...]	D
Debbie: [to Alison] Are you the lady who doesn't r [...]	D
Ben Stone: I live in your phone!	D
Jay: Dude, I think he's doing the dice thing too m [...]	D
Dr. Pellagrino: [after staring at Allison's vagina [...]	D
[first lines] Jay: I got to get off! I got to get [...]	D
Ben Stone: Do you want to do it doggie style? Ali [...]	D
Martin: Fuck me in the beard.	D
Jill: [walking past Alison] Hey, Alison, great job [...]	D
Alison Scott: Hey... Ben Stone: I'm naked. Aliso [...]	D
Jason: You wanna know who I want to get pregnant? [...]	D
Sadie: I Googled murder.	D
[after looking at Ben's website] Debbie: He spell [...]	D
Jodi: You must be angry at the baby whenever it st [...]	D
Doorman: What the fuck is she doing at the club? T [...]	D
Martin: Do you ever get so bored, you just stare a [...]	D
Alison Scott: [to Debbie] What do you think? He's [...]	D
Jason: You stay here. Martin: Why? Jason: Cause [...]	D
Jonah: I'm going to murderball you!	D
James Franco: If this is one of those fucking joke [...]	D
Ben's Dad: Life doesn't care about your vision. Yo [...]	D
Alison Scott: [discussing her pregnancy with her m [...]	D
[Alison's friends see she's pregnant] Ben Stone: [...]	D
Ben Stone: I'd like to be in there with Alison wit [...]	D
Jay: You're embarrassing me in company! Jonah: Yo [...]	D
Alison Scott: I'm sorry I told you to fuck your bo [...]	D
Jason: Well, I'm gonna go make a protein shake.	D
Jay: Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimme [...]	D
Pete: You look like a cholo dressed up for Easter.	D
Ben Stone: Our baby is going to be French Canadian [...]	D
Ben's Dad: If it grows from the ground, it's proba [...]	D
Pete: [taking his hand out of his mouth after doin [...]	D
Jack: We decided that, we want you to be on camera [...]	D
Martin: Thanks for the free money, Bitch.	D
[Ben and Pete are tripping on mushrooms in their h [...]	D
Ben Stone: [to bartender] You're going to be embar [...]	D
[while tripping on mushrooms] Ben Stone: [sadly] [...]	D
Jonah: Hey, Jay, do you use that Canadian leaf tat [...]	D
Pete: You mean like Mr. Skin? Ben Stone: Who's Mr [...]	D
Ben Stone: [answering the phone] Hello? Jason: He [...]	D
Jay: I'm going to be there to rear your child. Ja [...]	D
Ben Stone: What time is it? Alison Scott: 7:30 B [...]	D
Ben Stone: [to Alison] I'm sorry I'm sweating on y [...]	D
Pete: There are five different types of chairs in [...]	D
Jason: She looks really... smart.	D
Young Doctor: How long you kids been married? Ben [...]	D
Ben Stone: [watching Cheaper by the Dozen after ta [...]	D
Jay: [shouts] I wanna get off!	D
Debbie: He spelled "coming" wrong. Oh, it's "cummi [...]	D
Jack: So, we did some research, and, turns out, pe [...]	D
Pete: You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gab [...]	D
Ben Stone: [Ben knocks on the door at Sadie's birt [...]	D
Debbie: I'm not gonna go to the end of the fucking [...]	D
Debbie: [on subject of husbands] You criticize the [...]	D
Ben Stone: [explaining the conception to their new [...]	D
Martin: You guys aren't suppose to make fun at me [...]	D
Alison Scott: I hope your apartment's big enough f [...]	D
Jay: Because your face looks like a vagina.	D
Ben Stone: You know, the best thing for a hangover [...]	D
Jonah: Tell him not to jerk off with a noose aroun [...]	D
Jonah: We got pinkeye. Ben Stone: Were you giving [...]	D
Jill: This is Hollywood. We don't like liars.	D
Alison Scott: I was drunk! Ben Stone: Was your va [...]	D
Ben's Dad: I love you. You're the best thing that [...]	D
Jonah: She like-a the way your dick taste.	D
Jonah: Hey Crocket, how's Tubbs doing? Martin: Oh [...]	D
Alison Scott: Why don't you go FUCK your FUCKING B [...]	D
Pete: Isn't it weird, though, when you have a kid [...]	D
Pete: I'm gonna throw you in my DeLorean and gun i [...]	D
Pete: [quoting Back to the Future] Where we're goi [...]	D
Ben Stone: You think I'm an inventor? "He created [...]	D
Ben Stone: If any of us get laid tonight, it's bec [...]	D
Ben Stone: That's because Steely Dan Gargles my ba [...]	D
Jill: Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. [...]	D
Ben Stone: [laughing while Pete and Debbie are fig [...]	D
Martin: Whatever. I'm glad I'm not a Jew. Ben Sto [...]	D
Ben Stone: Fuck you, hormones!	D
Pete: Do you ever wonder how somebody could even l [...]	D
Ben Stone: Yeah, it's a cure-all. My buddy Jonah b [...]	D
Jodi: [to Allison] You wanna trade boyfriends? Ha. [...]	D
Debbie: Well, what'd you do last Wednesday night w [...]	D
Fantasy Baseball Guy #1: Hey, don't let the door h [...]	D
Ben Stone: Oh yeah... It's a girl. Buy some pink s [...]	D
Debbie: I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken p [...]	D
Alison Scott: I love your curly hair! It's great.. [...]	D
Ben Stone: [while tripping on mushrooms] Isn't wei [...]	D
[last lines] Ben Stone: No, these guys can honk a [...]	D
Dr. Kuni: Do you smoke? Alison Scott: No. Dr. Ku [...]	D
Ben Stone: Now that's how you get pink eye.	D
Alison Scott: Why don't you go fuck your fucking b [...]	D
[Alison says that she isn't going to tell her empl [...]	D
Ben Stone: Hey Doc Howard, Ben Stone calling, gues [...]	D
Alison Scott: I'm actually doing my first on-air i [...]	D
Ben Stone: Your face looks like Robin Williams' kn [...]	D
Jack: ...there's gonna be some things that you are [...]	D
Debbie: You think because you don't yell, you're n [...]	D
Ben Stone: You screwed me, dad. You said everythin [...]	D
Jonah: Dude, I didn't go to Yale to work 24 hours [...]	D
Ben Stone: Well, that was brutal.	D
Jay: Hey, you know I always [makes masturbating m [...]	D
Alison Scott: I'm pregnant. Ben Stone: Fuck off! [...]	D
[during a check-up] Female Doctor: Oops. That's n [...]	D
Debbie: Who is that guy? Is that Ben's Rabbi? Is h [...]	D
Pete: I wish I liked anything as much as my kids l [...]	D
Jonah: I can't believe you didn't fucking wear a b [...]	D
Jonah: [slamming the ball and winning the point at [...]	D
[sobbing and thinking about the babysitter] Debbi [...]	D
Debbie: [to Ben and Pete at dinner] Hey, I have a [...]	D
Pete: Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of [...]	D
Jonah: I won't say it but it rhymes with shmashmor [...]	D
Pete: Just don't ask me to lend you any money. Be [...]	D
Brent: [about Alison's vomiting] You sound like Ja [...]	D
Jay: [to Martin] That's the fun; you're supposed t [...]	D

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