Babbo bastardo

Titolo originale: Bad Santa
Regia: Terry Zwigoff |
Anno: 2003
Origine: United States of America |
Generi: Dramma Commedia Crime
Tag: elves | holiday | department store | christmas party | safe | drink | little people | christmas | hilarious |
Cast: Billy Bob Thornton | Tony Cox | Lauren Graham | Brett Kelly | Lauren Tom | Ajay Naidu | Alex Borstein | John Ritter | Bernie Mac | Lorna Scott | Harrison Bieker | Alexandra Korhan | Dylan Charles | Billy Gardell | Lisa Ross | Bryan Callen | Tom McGowan | Grace Calderon | Christine Pichardo | Bucky Dominick | Georgia Eskew | Hayden Bromberg | Max Van Ville | Briana Norton | Octavia Spencer | Hallie Singleton | Ryan Pinkston | Matt Walsh | Natsuko Ohama | Dave Adams | Ethan Phillips | Joey Saravia | Cody Strauch | Marshall Dvorin | Curtis Taylor | John Bunnell | Janet Dey | Cloris Leachman |

Willie T. Stokes è il salace e poco ispirato Babbo Natale di un grande magazzino che proprio non riesce a essere cortese con i clienti. Per di più dietro quell'ingombrante costume rosso si cela uno scassinatore che si limita a compiere un solo colpo grosso all'anno, proprio durante la notte di Natale. Quando i clienti svuotano il centro commerciale diretti a casa, Babbo Natale e il suo intraprendente elfo - Marcus, il socio nano di Willie - svuotano la cassaforte e filano via con il prezioso bottino. Quest'anno, però i due lavorano a Phoenix e il loro furto è messo in pericolo da un direttore particolarmente irritante, da un furbo detective, da una bella ammiratrice di Babbo Natale e da un ingenuo, assillante e strambo ragazzino di otto anni che ha deciso che Willie - per quanto velenoso, acido e cattivo possa sembrare - è il vero Babbo Natale...

Frasi

Willie: [upon seeing the safe] Oh shit. Marcus: W [...] D
Kid: Santa! Willie: Yeah. Kid: You're bringing m [...] D
[Cut to Willie behind bar cutting limes, presumabl [...] D
Willie: Does your daddy have a car? D
Kid: Candy corn? Willie: Well they all can't be w [...] D
Kid: What are their names? Willie: Who? Kid: The [...] D
Willie: Is Granny spry? [Wille and the kid enter [...] D
Marcus: You're an emotional fucking cripple. Your [...] D
Willie: You can't drink worth shit. Marcus: I wei [...] D
Willie: What do you want? Fraggle-Stick Boy: Frag [...] D
Marcus: [looking over the list of items his girl w [...] D
[Deleted scene] Willie: Why don't you go take a s [...] D
Bob Chipeska: I just can't help it. There's someth [...] D
Herb: Howdy. Herb Gunner. I live two streets over [...] D
Willie: That's the seven dwarfs! Willie: You're s [...] D
Willie: OW! Watch the toenails, kid. Shit! D
Willie: Bet the store dick don't want this. Marcu [...] D
[Willie has just passed out] Gin: Look here, get [...] D
Bob Chipeska: Hi. Bob Chipeska. Welcome. Great pho [...] D
Willie: [Willie is being held up by the Securtiy G [...] D
Kid: Good night, Santa. Good night, Mrs. Santa's s [...] D
Marcus: Motherfucker! Oh you lousy, fucking mother [...] D
Gin: Man is a sexual being. D
Marcus: You probably shouldn't be digging in your [...] D
Willie: It's Christmas and the kid's gettin' his f [...] D
[Metro Bus stops at 570 Saguard Square Loop, Kid g [...] D
Willie: Is daddy home? Kid: He's on an adventure, [...] D
Willie: Your name is Thurman Merman? D
Kid: Do you and Mrs. Santa have kids? Willie: No, [...] D
Kid: I wished for a purple elephant, but now I wan [...] D
[repeated line] Marcus: Fuck you, Willie! D
Sue: I've always had a thing for Santa Claus. In c [...] D
Marcus: It won't happen again. I can promise you t [...] D
Security Guard: Your pants are awful baggy, you go [...] D
Police Chief: Drop the gun! Marcus: Huh? Police [...] D
Willie: [narrating] I've been to prison once, I've [...] D
Kid: What's the North Pole like? Willie: It's lik [...] D
Willie: I'm not your fucking Da-Da. D
Willie: [from Willie's letter to the kid] Thank yo [...] D
Kid: [while Willie is trying to sleep] Want cookie [...] D
Kid: You are really Santa, right? Willie: No, I'm [...] D
Willie: You ain't gonna shit right for a week! D
Kid: Why do you need a car? Willie: What the fuck [...] D
Marcus: Merry Christmas! Santa's coming! YAY! [ch [...] D
Willie: [Willie is being held up by the Security G [...] D
Kid: It's a wooden pickle. D
Marcus: Have you seen that new Santa they just hir [...] D
Willie: You know, I think I've turned a corner. M [...] D
Grandma: Let me fix you some sandwiches... D
Sue: Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Sant [...] D
Willie: look this is the only fucking time i ever [...] D
Willie: Is that your underwear? Kid: Part of it. [...] D
Gin: [after seeing a kid has placed a game in his [...] D
Marcus: More booze, more bullshit, more butt-fucki [...] D
[last lines] Skateboard Bully: Hey, loser. I hear [...] D
[Metro Bus stops at 570 Saguard Square Loop, Kid g [...] D
Marcus: [Willie, as Santa, is scratching his butt [...] D
Bob Chipeska: [about Willie] Can you maybe find ou [...] D
Willie: [to the Kid after asking about the Elves n [...] D
Willie: [shouting] I'm on my fucking lunch break, [...] D
Willie: [in a letter to Thurman] Dear Kid, I hope [...] D
Willie: [to Marcus] Why don't you get going? You'l [...] D
Willie: [the kid on his lap stares blankly at him] [...] D
Kid: OW... OW... OW... I cut my hand, by mistake O [...] D
[first lines] Willie: Hey, can I get another drin [...] D
Marcus: Oh, my. What a darling photo. Are you cert [...] D
Gin: Santa likes to fuck fat chicks in the ass. D
Willie: I'm an eating, drinking, shitting, fucking [...] D
Willie: Does your daddy have a safe? D
Willie: Whatcha my mom now? You shat me out of you [...] D
Willie: [snores loudly and alarm clock buzzes and [...] D
Marcus: You are by far the dumbest, most pathetic [...] D
Marcus: You fuck her? Willie: Jesus Christ! Is ev [...] D
Marcus: If I call you next December, IF I call you [...] D
Gin: You know what I see when I look at you? Ameri [...] D
Woman in Food Court: Look who's here! It's Santa! [...] D
Marcus: How much? Gin: Half. Willie: No fucking [...] D
Hindustani Troublemaker: I am not gay! Willie: Wh [...] D
Gin: We split the dough right down the middle. Any [...] D
Willie: Wish in one hand, shit in the other. D
Kid: Should I fix you some sandwiches? Willie: I [...] D
Marcus: [after seeing Willie dry-humping a young g [...] D
Kid: Your beard's not real. Willie: No Shit!It wa [...] D
[Unrated Version and Director's Cut] [after crush [...] D
Willie: Things are fucked up at the North Pole. Mr [...] D
Miami Bartender: Hey, asshole. How many times I go [...] D
Marcus: You could never front your own racket and [...] D
[waiting to ambush Gin] Marcus: There he is. That [...] D
Willie: Are you fucking with me? D
Willie: Why don't you wish in one hand, and shit i [...] D
Willie: I said, "Next," goddamn it! This is not th [...] D
Watching Boy: [stares at Willie] I saw you at anot [...] D
[from the unrated cut] Security Guard: You wouldn [...] D
Willie: Jesus Fuckin Christ. D
Gin: Sweet Jews for Jesus! D