|
[repeated line]
Lois Griffin:
Peeetah!
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D
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Lois Griffin:
[Stewie has just seen his parents ha [...]
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Olivia:
Do you even know what sex IS?
Stewie Grif [...]
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Brian Griffin:
[imitating Truman Capote]
Audrey He [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
You know, it's dangerous for me to [...]
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Carter Pewterschmidt:
[Attempting to Chat Up a Tee [...]
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Glen Quagmire:
The Griffins. Bunch of card-carryin [...]
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Brian Griffin:
You got anything on that remote low [...]
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Auctioner:
Our first item is a pair of panties con [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Meg, put your bib on.
Meg Griffin:
[...]
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[Peter has taken some politicians to a strip joint [...]
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Brian Griffin:
Look at you. You spent all that tim [...]
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Meg Griffin:
I want to be a vet when I grow up.
P [...]
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Chris Griffin:
Why are you sending me to Vocationa [...]
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Peter Griffin:
The Global Community's Inaction dur [...]
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Peter:
I've got your first headline, Meg. Lois, I [...]
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Meg Griffin:
I wish Chris would quit drawing pictu [...]
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[Family is trying to hide from mobsters]
Peter Gr [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
The outrages I have suffered today [...]
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[Chris and Meg are fighting over who should have t [...]
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Mr. Rogers:
Hello, neighbor. I'm glad we're togeth [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[clearing his throat]
Excuse me but [...]
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Christian Abstinence Campaigner:
You wouldn't put [...]
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Teeth # 1:
Okay.
Teeth # 1:
One, two...
Stewie G [...]
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[upon finding out the local bar has been turned in [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Oh, you people can kiss the fattest [...]
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Lois:
Chris, that's a terrible word. Pussywillow.
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Lois Griffin:
Kids, stop fighting or we won't go t [...]
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Stewie:
Mark my words, your uppance shall come.
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TV Announcer:
[Wrestling]
This truly is a momentou [...]
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Meg Griffin:
How could you embarrass me like that? [...]
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Brian:
Why don't you shut up for about a week?
St [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Now, I know you're a feminist, and [...]
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Chris Griffin:
Yo, did y'all check me when that ho [...]
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[Peter and Brian are touring the Pawtucket Brewery [...]
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Tom Tucker:
And now Channel 6 black man Ollie Will [...]
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[doorbell rings; Peter's boss, Mr. Weed, is coming [...]
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School Choir:
[Silent Night]
Die Hard... Die Hard. [...]
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Randy Savage:
I must be in Quahog, cause all I see [...]
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British Airman:
Now let's get this mission over wi [...]
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Peter Griffin:
They covered the house in micro-fil [...]
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Trica Takanowa:
I'm standing here in Boston Airpor [...]
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Chris Griffin:
I wanna get Barbara a really nice g [...]
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Glen Quagmire:
Baby, if I could rearrange the alph [...]
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Peter Griffin:
People make up lies all the time. Y [...]
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Glen Quagmire:
Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Is someone there? I thought I heard [...]
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[Stewie reads a card and discovers his name writte [...]
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Brian Griffin:
You shot me in both my knees then s [...]
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[looking into a woman's window with binoculars whi [...]
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Trica Takanowa:
I'm standing by the Portajohns whe [...]
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Teacher:
[Lottery Numbers]
I won! I don't have to [...]
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[the Griffins have been invited for dinner at the [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
I love God. He's so deliciously ev [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
Damn the toilet. It's made slaves [...]
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Security System:
What is the most unappealing Male [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Peter, you've been wearing that gian [...]
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Carter Pewterschmiidt:
[giving her a ride]
Ass, Ga [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
Forecast for tomorrow; A few sprin [...]
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Brian Griffin:
She's a whiney little runt isn't sh [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Typical male fantasy. Women drinking [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Peter doesn't always Munch-ausen my [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[Whacked in the Genitals by a Japan [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Hold on, hold on. I'm sorry, but th [...]
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Meg Griffin:
But I thought being Gay wasn't a choi [...]
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Lois Griffin:
When you have something to hate, you [...]
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Ms Scowly-Tightanus:
All our Husbands were Christm [...]
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|
Tom Tucker:
Coming up next: A story on convenientl [...]
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Peter Griffin:
All right, as a Rich Dad I will now [...]
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Chris Griffin:
[to Lois]
That's the plan, but don' [...]
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Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin:
[singing]
We're [...]
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[Brian is at Stewie's party. A clown holding a sod [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Peter, Stewie peed on the carpet aga [...]
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Luke Skywalker:
Okay I'll just make a quick incisi [...]
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Man:
Say Phil, what do you say to Happy Hour after [...]
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|
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[Meg enters the house crying]
Meg:
I'll never be [...]
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Lois:
It's like I always tell the kids: "Quitters [...]
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Brian Griffin:
This was even stupider than that ti [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Hey, everybody, wait till you see th [...]
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George:
[a parody of "The Jetsons": George and Roy [...]
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[while eating a pancake]
Stewie Griffin:
Oh. Mmm, [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Do you have any past injuries, phys [...]
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Lois Griffin:
What happens if Meg develops a coke [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Lois, our son has been blessed with [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
[Brian is reading the newspaper]
L [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Dad, now that you're retired, you'r [...]
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Chris Griffin:
Dad, what if I told you I didn't wa [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Meg, you are what is known as "A Pr [...]
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|
|
[live hurricane report]
Tom Tucker:
And now to Ol [...]
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|
|
Lois Griffin:
Thanks for listening.
Stewie Griffi [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Peter, I saw a really good deal on a [...]
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|
Glen Quagmire:
No, you're not going to die! We're [...]
|
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|
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Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin:
[singing]
You an [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[giving a speech running for school [...]
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Tom Tucker:
[on the phone with his wife]
Honey, I [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
[to Peter]
You. You are the worst [...]
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|
Peter Griffin:
I'm going to microwave a bagel and [...]
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Peter Griffin:
I tried finding my talent like you [...]
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Peter Griffin:
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
[ [...]
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LaDonne:
Hi, gorgeous man!
Stewie Griffin:
Oh, yo [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Our children our greatest treasure. [...]
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|
Herbert:
Hey, muscly arm, why the long face?
Chri [...]
|
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Meg Griffin:
Oh. Oh, this is just my bird calls.
[...]
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Peter Griffin:
[is reading very loudly while intox [...]
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|
|
Gun Safety Instructor:
Remember, guns don't kill p [...]
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|
Death:
You can't tell anyone that I'm here. For if [...]
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Peter Griffin:
What's wrong, Stewie, don't you wan [...]
|
D
|
|
Lisa McDonald:
Bye, Dad. Don't wait up.
Ronald Mc [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[Child Actor]
I'm not supposed to [...]
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|
|
Chris Griffin:
It'll be a good chance to get away [...]
|
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Peter Griffin:
Let's go and have however many beer [...]
|
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|
|
Mouse Vicar:
Do you like Sacramental Wine and Mous [...]
|
D
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|
Lois Griffin:
[Peter's drunk in Massachusetts]
I g [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Some say Love it is a River that dr [...]
|
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|
|
Glen Quagmire:
Tuesdays in the '80s I was always i [...]
|
D
|
|
Guy on Street #2:
It's 3:00. Where the hell is Lou [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
I find the toothpaste with the pump [...]
|
D
|
|
[at a rehab center]
Peter Griffin:
YEAH. I'm also [...]
|
D
|
|
Protestors:
Free Tibet! Free Tibet!
Peter Griffin [...]
|
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|
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Stewie Griffin:
How deliciously evil. It's like so [...]
|
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|
|
Stanley Tucci:
Sometimes I wear Glasses, and somet [...]
|
D
|
|
Smurf #1:
Yo, Smurf, that party last night was fre [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[Picking up the phone]
Hello, oper [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[shouts]
Oh, my God, Jeremy's stil [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Peter, why would they make you presi [...]
|
D
|
|
Pillsbury Doughboy:
Nothing says "I Love You" quit [...]
|
D
|
|
Meg Griffin:
[Her sleeping pills have been switche [...]
|
D
|
|
Angry Man:
Oh great, I always end up sitting next [...]
|
D
|
|
Bob Ross:
All right, we are going to use a fan bru [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
All right, I'll talk to him, Lois. [...]
|
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|
|
Peter Griffin:
[bringing Stewie back from the Mate [...]
|
D
|
|
[Chris jumps on Peter's lap]
Chris Griffin:
Dad, [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
If I'm a child, you know what that [...]
|
D
|
|
Albino:
The Moon is my Sun. I like to kill beetles [...]
|
D
|
|
Englishman #1:
I say, you know what's really funny [...]
|
D
|
|
Good Peter:
Hey sorry, man, am I late? What did I [...]
|
D
|
|
Guard:
Hey Sarge, your wife called and said it was [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Hello?
Peter Griffin:
Lois? I can't [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
[Heaven]
Look at us! Who'd have tho [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Oh, I am so alone!
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Damn you! Damn the broccoli! Damn [...]
|
D
|
|
European See and Say:
The Pig goes WANK! The Cow g [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Right Meg, I have here the eight ho [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
This is how women dance when they're [...]
|
D
|
|
Glen Quagmire:
All those biopics are the same! Uns [...]
|
D
|
|
[Stewie builds a dish]
Stewie Griffin:
[evil laug [...]
|
D
|
|
Lord Baden-Powell:
I'd like to take your son out i [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
}: It's just like Special K. But wh [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
What, you're just going to leave m [...]
|
D
|
|
Tom Tucker:
All right, question number one. Would [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Son, we're going to get you back in [...]
|
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|
|
[the Millennium Bug has just hit, causing planes t [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie:
I was under the impression the name of the [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
I've been to New York. It's like Pr [...]
|
D
|
|
Meg Griffin:
Mom, you can't get a job. The last ti [...]
|
D
|
|
Chris:
I haven't been this confused since the endi [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Peter, it's just a phase. You've gon [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[hitting on some co-eds]
I must sa [...]
|
D
|
|
GPS System:
Turn left at fork in road... in native [...]
|
D
|
|
[they are eating Trisha]
Tom Tucker:
Mmm. Diane c [...]
|
D
|
|
[showing his crotch to Peter]
Glen Quagmire:
Does [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Lois, I can't find my favorite pair [...]
|
D
|
|
[the family is planning a vacation]
Peter Griffin [...]
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|
Stewie Griffin:
If I choose to make stool in my pa [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Chris is not as smart as you think [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Damn you, vile woman!
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Oh, boy! I remember my first job. I [...]
|
D
|
|
Bad Peter:
Lie to her. It's okay to lie to women. [...]
|
D
|
|
Meg:
I cant believe my stupid parents are going to [...]
|
D
|
|
Quagmire:
Peter, I can remember a dozen times when [...]
|
D
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|
Army Captain:
[while trying to take over Peteoria] [...]
|
D
|
|
Jim:
What did you just call me?
Huck Griffin:
I t [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Yeah which is more than we got from [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
[on his Death Bed]
Chris! Underage. [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Stewie, why don't you go play in the [...]
|
D
|
|
Chris Griffin:
I never knew anyone who went crazy [...]
|
D
|
|
[looking at whales]
Chris Griffin:
Dad, what's th [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Is Unobtainium difficult to Obtain?
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[Xmas Photo]
Yes, from now on I sh [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
No, Peter. Martin Luther King.
Pet [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Brian, tape this for me.
Brian Gri [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Blast I thought I had more time. K [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
We know the problem, we're all depr [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
The breakfast thing. Yes. It wasn' [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Hmm, you could threaten me...
|
D
|
|
[a parody of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory [...]
|
D
|
|
Teacher:
Page two of the three page book on how to [...]
|
D
|
|
[repeated line]
Peter Griffin:
Holy crap!
|
D
|
|
[repeated line]
Vern:
Play me off, Johnny!
|
D
|
|
Tom Tucker:
Coming up next: Can bees think? A new [...]
|
D
|
|
Ida:
[Quagmire's Sex Doll Tea Party]
I wish I'd gi [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
I'm off to look at books filled wi [...]
|
D
|
|
Waitress:
Here you go, fella. From Flappy himself. [...]
|
D
|
|
PTSD 'Nam Vet:
I've seen some things, man, and som [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Damn you all!
|
D
|
|
Chris Griffin:
Oh, my God, the Government's here! [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Hey, Clevemire!
Glen Quagmire:
Tha [...]
|
D
|
|
[Stewie is about to be given an injection against [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter:
To you she may be worth a million dollars. [...]
|
D
|
|
Teacher:
In French, to say yes you say oui-oui.
[ [...]
|
D
|
|
[Quagmire tries to hit on some women at a lesbian [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Well, I took a lot of Ecstasy in my [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Oh, I hate these high-pressure sales [...]
|
D
|
|
Adam West:
[after killing a Noid that ruined most [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Ah, my Grundle!
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Up! Stewie wants to go uppie! Mmm, [...]
|
D
|
|
Judge:
I find you guilty of arson, so you are free [...]
|
D
|
|
Boy:
Your Mom seems nice.
Stewie Griffin:
She's a [...]
|
D
|
|
Boy:
You must be Chris.
Chris Griffin:
I must?
|
D
|
|
Old Timey Policeman:
Don't worry, everything's und [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
When the World is mine, your death [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Am I to spend the entire day wallo [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
And this is where the Pilgrims land [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
I didn't give those porn magazines [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
What's Lois doing with Ross Fishman [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Lois, if this is your idea of a jok [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
We all know that no woman anywhere [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
That boy was Indian and 11! Where [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
And that's the story of the Christm [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
I'm yer other son, Micawber!
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
They look at me and see a loser. Ex [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[trying to get Brian's attention]
[...]
|
D
|
|
Glen Quagmire's Mom:
Here now, have milk.
[shows [...]
|
D
|
|
Meg Griffin:
Mum's Voodoo Doll? Throw! It's never [...]
|
D
|
|
Shelly:
I'll have the es-cargott and a chabliss.
[...]
|
D
|
|
[Brian and Chris try to sneak into a fair by weari [...]
|
D
|
|
Silver-Suited 1950s Spaceman:
How's the soil, Prof [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[in a Southern accent]
Warm out to [...]
|
D
|
|
[during a fishing trip]
Peter Griffin:
Man, some [...]
|
D
|
|
Meg Griffin:
I made flag girl!
Stewie Griffin:
Oh [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Brian, could you pass the TV Guide? [...]
|
D
|
|
Cleveland:
Die in Hell, terrorist!
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Peter!
Peter Griffin:
Um... Lee Maj [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Yes, I rather like this God fellow [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
She's my Mother! We're supposed to [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[Whispering behind Lois' back]
Whe [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Thanks for the ride, and your unsoli [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
[AA Meeting]
Are we allowed to have [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Excuse me, is your refrigerator run [...]
|
D
|
|
[repeated line]
Glen Quagmire:
Giggidy-giggidy-gi [...]
|
D
|
|
Chris Griffin:
Ah, hoist by my own petard...
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Oh, and sorry about that comment ea [...]
|
D
|
|
Tooth #1:
I claim this mouth in the name of inciso [...]
|
D
|
|
[Hanson has showed up, asking to use the phone]
P [...]
|
D
|
|
Carter Pewterschmidt:
People of France, may I have [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Chris, are you going to kill yoursel [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
...squirl...
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
You all know how observant I am.
T [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Lois you know my rule, You are only [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Chris where have you been?
Chris Gr [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
What's going on?
Stewie Griffin:
We [...]
|
D
|
|
[after Peter tells Lois an outlandish story]
Bria [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
[Congress]
What you're forgetting i [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
This party couldn't be better if Je [...]
|
D
|
|
[Brian watches Nova]
Man on Nova:
After years of [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
You knocked up my Mom and never cal [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Oh, forgive me for not being one o [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
[on Meg's shoulders]
Just a little h [...]
|
D
|
|
Tom Tucker:
I think I speak for everyone when I sa [...]
|
D
|
|
Bruce:
I live in the incongrously purple house on [...]
|
D
|
|
[after having sex]
Social Worker:
Glen, honey. Ca [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Nothing else has worked this far / [...]
|
D
|
|
[Peter has gotten liposuction]
Stewie:
My god, it [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Lois, come see what I did with the [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
...Teapot Dome Scandal...
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Glen Quagmire:
Fat chicks need lovin too, but they [...]
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Glen Quagmire:
[book club]
I know you're very well [...]
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Doctor:
I don't like you, because you're poor.
|
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Brian Griffin:
So, Stewie, how do you feel now tha [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Peter, where the hell have you been? [...]
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Meg Griffin:
Mom!
Chris Griffin:
Hahahaha! Nipple [...]
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Darren (On Bewitched):
The power of Christ compels [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
[Stewie looks into the mirror afte [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
You didn't love me. It was my cook [...]
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Gene Simmons:
Someone kidnapped Santa? That does n [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Boo Lois, yeah beer!
|
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Lois Griffin:
I'm sorry that Stewie ruined your bo [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
If you want to learn more about Dr [...]
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Travolta:
We have reached Cruising Altitude, so yo [...]
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Guy in chicken costume:
The world is gonna end at [...]
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Tom Tucker:
Coming up next: Diane's weight.
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Stewie Griffin:
[controlling a robot Peter]
Blast, [...]
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Police Scanner:
We have a gang shooting on Third a [...]
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[we see a flashback of Stewie with a normal, round [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Oh, I hate it when your mother worr [...]
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Cleveland:
That tickles me in a way where, if Lore [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
Hold on, I'll be with you in a mom [...]
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Chris Griffin:
I'm so hungry I could ride a horse! [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[throwing his arms up in the air wh [...]
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Glen Quagmire:
What? Fat women need love too. But [...]
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Diet Institute Worker:
Sir, you can't park your va [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
I haven't got a clue what he's tal [...]
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[Meg walks in on Quagmire with a hooker]
Glen Qua [...]
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[watching the sunset]
Lois Griffin:
Oh, Peter, I [...]
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Peter Griffin:
I'd like to propose a toast to our [...]
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Colleague:
You must like working here, it must be [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Tinder makes you Gross.
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Brian Griffin:
[Time Travel]
It's so great to meet [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Maybe it's because I can recite all [...]
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Peter Griffin:
You're not fat, Chris, you just com [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
[after Brian cries hysterically]
I [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
I was making radio shows for fun! [...]
|
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Sign:
The Helen Disingenuous Show
|
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Peter Griffin:
[flu-ridden]
DO I SOUND SEXY? Tell [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
Don't be an Instigator!
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Brian Griffin:
God, England sucks now.
|
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Stewie Griffin:
I'll put it on MySpace, with a loa [...]
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Lois Griffin:
[to Peter]
Hey there, Sweetie! I got [...]
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Brian Griffin:
Oh, my god, that was hilarious!
Lo [...]
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Toy Designer:
I've just finished the new line of G [...]
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Peter Griffin:
I'm just poking at your funny bone.
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Stewie Griffin:
[Lois is away, trash is piling up] [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
What's she going to do, ground us? [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
[Pregnant, getting heckled]
Well, [...]
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Greased-Up Deaf Guy:
Yes, I'm Greased-Up and, yes, [...]
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[a grim, hooded wraith with a scythe approaches Pe [...]
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Laika:
Joke on them! I find Happy Dog Planet! In 5 [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Guy humour, Meg! If you don't got a [...]
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Lois Griffin:
[talking to Chris]
We'll continue th [...]
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Hooker:
Hey
Lois Griffin:
Peter, there's a hooker [...]
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Jennifer Love Hewitt:
I can't believe you ordered [...]
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Peter Griffin:
If you could be stranded on a deser [...]
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[Peter is watching a movie]
Brian Griffin:
[walks [...]
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Igor:
Wait, you had the Secret to Creating Life, a [...]
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[Peter is watching a pornographic video]
Woman on [...]
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[Jennifer Love Hewitt is on a date with Peter, and [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
For God's sake, shake me. Shake me [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
You know, the last time I saw you, [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Well, I've watched every Youtube Vi [...]
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Cleveland:
I have dibs on whatever silliness Peter [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
[to a masseuse]
Sh, sh, sh, no con [...]
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D
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Brian Griffin:
I like the Madness of King George. [...]
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Pee-Hole Skin Frontman:
Ungh! Feelings! Ungh! Feel [...]
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Aimee Mann:
[Brian's at the Planetarium]
One is th [...]
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[Peter is trying to potty-train Stewie]
Peter Gri [...]
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Glen Quagmire:
[British]
Goobledy-goobledy glop!
|
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Stewie Griffin:
I'm not leaving until I kiss someo [...]
|
D
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Chris Griffin:
[driving around with Quagmire, sees [...]
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[Stewie and Brian are trying to sleep in a motel, [...]
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Peter Griffin:
That's about as funny as Sinbad. No [...]
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Chris Griffin:
You should invent the frisbee! The [...]
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Chris Griffin:
Everything in my head is screaming!
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Stewie Griffin:
Brian, why does everything you tou [...]
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[Quagmire is talking to a woman from New York]
Gl [...]
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Diane Simmons:
And in entertainment, Mary Tyler Mo [...]
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D
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Stewie Griffin:
[Madlibs]
Oh, how ruthlessly absur [...]
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D
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Chris Griffin:
Hi, my name is Chris. Mom and dad s [...]
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D
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Bad Cockroach:
Man, I'm going to cut you up so bad [...]
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Jaws:
Hey. I'm gonna eat 'cha. I'm gonna eat that [...]
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Peter Griffin:
This is even worse then when we wen [...]
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D
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Joe Swanson:
[motivating Bonnie on a running machi [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
Her Womb was like one of those Han [...]
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D
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[repeated line]
James Woods:
Oooh, a piece of can [...]
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Police Officer:
Hey. That's Against the law. You'r [...]
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D
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Teacher:
In short, your kids are doing fine. Keep [...]
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Chris Griffin:
Are we there yet?
Lois Griffin:
No [...]
|
D
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Peter Griffin:
Joe, I've had new neighbors before [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Please leave a message after the Bl [...]
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Priest:
You may kiss the Bride.
Peter Griffin:
Ki [...]
|
D
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Interviewer:
[Peter is at a job interview]
So, Pet [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[trying to console Cleveland at aud [...]
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Stewie:
Hidden missile behind the Great Wall? Anci [...]
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D
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Stewie Griffin:
Make sure there's a fresh copy of [...]
|
D
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Peter Griffin:
Hey, where's my VCR?
Hillbilly #1: [...]
|
D
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|
[observing Brian at a dog race]
Carter Pewterschm [...]
|
D
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Peter Griffin:
[Large Plume]
Marital Woes continue [...]
|
D
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Glen Quagmire:
[being Pimped]
Daddy Peter! She wan [...]
|
D
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|
[Peter is receiving communion]
Peter Griffin:
Wow [...]
|
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|
Psychiatrist:
Does Stewie have a history of violen [...]
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|
Meg Griffin:
You should go with him. This will be [...]
|
D
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Peter Griffin:
Ha ha ha ha! You just said "nuclear [...]
|
D
|
|
Joe Swanson:
At least I can do this:
[singing]
J [...]
|
D
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|
Peter Griffin:
Lois, are you high?
Lois Griffin:
[...]
|
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Danskafraulein:
I miss our Stolen Son in America. [...]
|
D
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Peter Griffin:
We're going to grandpa Griffin's re [...]
|
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Father:
As we say in Ireland, let's drink until th [...]
|
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Stewie Griffin:
The life of the wife is ended by t [...]
|
D
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Brian Griffin:
I think I'm dying. Jane Fonda. Is t [...]
|
D
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Stewie Griffin:
You. Fetch me my copy of the Wall [...]
|
D
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Lois Griffin:
Peter, did you take care of that... [...]
|
D
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Peter Griffin:
Lois, is a President stronger than [...]
|
D
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Chris Griffin:
Hey dad, look. I put honey on my ba [...]
|
D
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Tom Tucker:
And now, here's Ollie Williams, with t [...]
|
D
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Peter Griffin:
Hi, I'm Peter Griffin. You know, pe [...]
|
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Lois Griffin:
[referring to Peter]
This from a man [...]
|
D
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Meg:
Chris, quit it! Mom, Chris put his foot on my [...]
|
D
|
|
Adam West:
[after hearing Peter, Joe, Quagmire, an [...]
|
D
|
|
Joe Swanson:
When you lose one ability your other [...]
|
D
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|
Max Weinstein:
Hello. My car broke down. Can I use [...]
|
D
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Peter Griffin:
Only one thing left to do: get drun [...]
|
D
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Meg Griffin:
Yeah, why are we here in this bomb sh [...]
|
D
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Lois Griffin:
I feel you, Meg.
Meg Griffin:
Shut [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
We're officially on welfare. Come o [...]
|
D
|
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Quagmire:
Here's to the Drunken Clam, boys. Where [...]
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D
|
|
Chris Griffin:
Hey Meg, I'm thinking of a word, an [...]
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|
|
[Adam West is trying to win a promotion for Pawtuc [...]
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D
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Stewie Griffin:
I'm a Calico and my name is Humphr [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
So, what do you think of this "Mus [...]
|
D
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|
Brian Griffin:
Well, Peter, if you pull a party ou [...]
|
D
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|
[trying to get a Scout Merit Badge]
Chris Griffin [...]
|
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|
Brian Griffin:
Do you listen to yourself when you [...]
|
D
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|
[Stewie taunts a girl who has fallen down a well]
[...]
|
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Peter Griffin:
Make like Siamese twins and split.. [...]
|
D
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Joe Swanson:
Pumpkin Spice! Sounds like a reject f [...]
|
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Peter Griffin:
On the way home he poisoned me with [...]
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Adam West:
I love this job more than I love taffy, [...]
|
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|
Peter Griffin:
I wonder what Scooby and the gang a [...]
|
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Stewie Griffin:
Why the hell did we get off here? [...]
|
D
|
|
Les Miserables Grape:
Ah, there's a foot...
|
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|
Peter Griffin:
It is my duty as a Bad Father to pr [...]
|
D
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Peter Griffin:
[He's Romeo. He makes the Universal [...]
|
D
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Meg Griffin:
I finally get my driver's license and [...]
|
D
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|
Doctor Hartman:
Shut up! Be cool, be cool!
[Hides [...]
|
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|
Peter Griffin:
Don't you know about the Bird? Ever [...]
|
D
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|
Brian Griffin:
That's it, I'm going to quit Writin [...]
|
D
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|
Peter Griffin:
Hey, Chris! Whatcha doing?
Chris G [...]
|
D
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|
[Brian is sitting next to a woman, panting]
Woman [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Huh, I wonder what Scooby and the g [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
[as a swim coach]
Great workout, Bo [...]
|
D
|
|
[a fat Stewie is sitting on the porch]
Stewie Gri [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
You know, Lois, I'm really not comf [...]
|
D
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|
[to Stewie, at Christmastime]
Chris Griffin:
Here [...]
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Chris Griffin:
WAAAH! Ah, my Morning Scream...
|
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|
Lois Griffin:
Well, good riddance Christian Camp! [...]
|
D
|
|
Jasper:
So! Do you like "Sex and the City"?
Brian [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Mother, I come bearing a gift. I'l [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Nothing worse than a case of the N [...]
|
D
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|
Chris Griffin:
Hey dad, you didn't tell us how we [...]
|
D
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|
Peter Griffin:
[on Bill Cosby]
I was so busy not s [...]
|
D
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|
Brian Griffin:
I warn you, if you kill me the Inte [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[Peter is upset, Stewie is trying [...]
|
D
|
|
Glen Quagmire:
[reading]
And it turned out that th [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
[laughing]
Ms. Romano:
Damn it Jul [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Christmas is the time of year when [...]
|
D
|
|
Police Officer:
Read him his Rights!
Peter Griffi [...]
|
D
|
|
Salesman:
Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Griffin. Now, I know [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
[slurring, drunk]
This comedian suc [...]
|
D
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|
Peter Griffin:
If I'm a child, that means you're a [...]
|
D
|
|
Tom Tucker:
We'll return with a report on the clit [...]
|
D
|
|
David Lynch:
[How the Lynch Stole Christmas]
In th [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Soooo Broccoli, mother says you're [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
He brought his Mom to the Oscars. T [...]
|
D
|
|
Glen Quagmire:
HEY GET THE HELL OFF MY... well hel [...]
|
D
|
|
UPS Woman:
I've got a package for Glen Quagmire.
[...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Wow, I'm even better than that dad [...]
|
D
|
|
Meg Griffin:
Turn it, Chris. I want to watch Georg [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Son, this is a big day for you. Tod [...]
|
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|
|
[Peter saw Lois in a coffee shop talking with her [...]
|
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|
|
[Peter has bought an sexy version of a relationshi [...]
|
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|
Mr Vanderploog:
Don't be sad, Peter! That's why it [...]
|
D
|
|
[a social worker is trying to take Stewie away bec [...]
|
D
|
|
Olivia:
Check out the Asian Businessman!
Stewie G [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
[Elton John's Co-writer]
I'm not Ga [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Ha ha. Oh, this is so good it just [...]
|
D
|
|
Doctor:
Mayor West, I'm afraid you have lymphoma. [...]
|
D
|
|
Mort Goldman:
We've been watching The Wizard of Oz [...]
|
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|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Do these huggies make my ass look [...]
|
D
|
|
Meg Griffin:
[irate after being replaced on a Grif [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
It's our Bookclub, Peter! Come join [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Brian, you've really been enjoying y [...]
|
D
|
|
Tom Tucker:
Coming up next: Watch me shave.
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
I guess anything's better than look [...]
|
D
|
|
Man on TV:
Hey! Hey! Get that
[beep]
Man on TV:
[...]
|
D
|
|
Joe Swanson:
After my accident the Doctor told me [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
[to youth cult]
Hey guys, you want [...]
|
D
|
|
Chris:
Why should I bring a gift if you're just go [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
What if Kurt Cobain had quit?
[Fla [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
What's the point of drugs if you don [...]
|
D
|
|
Cleveland:
You mean you're just erasing cop-weiner [...]
|
D
|
|
Glen Quagmire:
Can't we for once tell a joke that [...]
|
D
|
|
[Brian has just peed on a Supermarket floor]
Pete [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[looking at a picture of Jesus]
Lo [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
[a Past Generation of the friends i [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Yea and God said to Abraham, "You [...]
|
D
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|
Peter Griffin:
[Dancing to Axel F]
Neh-neh neh neh [...]
|
D
|
|
Meg Griffin:
Dad, if I don't get my driver's licen [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Peter, you brought this on yourself [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Hey! Look at this
[bow tie spins [...]
|
D
|
|
[Peter's new car has an electronic navigator with [...]
|
D
|
|
[the Griffins have inherited a mansion. Stewie is [...]
|
D
|
|
[hitting on a girl waiting in line for a roller co [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
It's OK, Meg. Your mom is full of C [...]
|
D
|
|
Glen Quagmire:
[Wakes Up, there's a Note]
Right, n [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
[Farts into his Shazam App]
It says [...]
|
D
|
|
Andre the Giant:
[to Wallace Shawn, at Dinner]
I h [...]
|
D
|
|
Meg Griffin:
Chris, change the channel. I want to [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Hi. I'm in the other room and I'm t [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Chris, everything I say is a lie. E [...]
|
D
|
|
[the Griffins watch "Happy Days"]
Richie:
Mom, uh [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Any problem caused by a tank can be [...]
|
D
|
|
Mort Goldman:
Muriel was so much better at overcha [...]
|
D
|
|
Anthony Robbins:
I'm coming, Broken People!
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
[opening drawer]
Hey, Lois, there's [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Uh, hi. We're here to see the Dean. [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
C'mon, I wanna show you something th [...]
|
D
|
|
Glen Quagmire:
Hi, Meg. Eighteen yet?
Meg Griffin [...]
|
D
|
|
Machine:
You have 113 new messages
[Phone starts [...]
|
D
|
|
Star Wars Rebel Fighter:
Why are you always mean t [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
As you know, it is my dream to reti [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
Do you have a bathroom?
President [...]
|
D
|
|
Adam West:
Damnit, Swanson, I want them found!
Jo [...]
|
D
|
|
Li:
Stewie, come complete our rainbow.
Stewie Gri [...]
|
D
|
|
[Death holds up a document that Peter doctored to [...]
|
D
|
|
Chris Griffin:
Mom, can I be excused from the tabl [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
My therapist thinks I'm in love.
P [...]
|
D
|
|
Tom Tucker Snr:
More and more women are working ou [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
I would follow this man into the v [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[Gary Numan]
Brian had sex! With a [...]
|
D
|
|
Chris Griffin:
God's watching me do number two? Oh [...]
|
D
|
|
Cleveland:
A Red Balloon tied to a Mailbox is the [...]
|
D
|
|
[Stewie is resting while Brian is licking his crot [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Hey, what's your friend's name?
Al [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
I can't really think thoughts no mo [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
It's called Guillermo's Paradox.
C [...]
|
D
|
|
Old Woman:
Aw, look at you! I bet you're hungry.
[...]
|
D
|
|
Jiminy Cricket:
Hello, Peter! I'm your Conscience! [...]
|
D
|
|
Chris Griffin:
[reading]
And it turned out that th [...]
|
D
|
|
Joe Swanson:
Hey, Pat, where's the wheelchair ramp [...]
|
D
|
|
Preacher:
"Love thy neighbour as thyself". People [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Wow, it'll be just like that show " [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Peter, I care as much about the size [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Hey, Brian, remember me? I'm the g [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
I don't need to $@%# impress you.
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
We didn't get this pamphlet when Meg [...]
|
D
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Peter Griffin:
Looks out curtain at Lois, who's si [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
Well, I'd love to stay and chat, b [...]
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Doctor:
A child incapable of behaving to the satis [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Man, this is a great show. They dra [...]
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Guy in Chicken Suit:
Enjoy your chicken sandwich. [...]
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Glen Quagmire:
Hey, Lois, wanna go out?
Lois Grif [...]
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Peter Griffin:
You remember that time I was suppos [...]
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Young Peter Griffin:
Why did all the dinosaurs die [...]
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[Charles Lindbugh has just accidentally flushed hi [...]
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Brian Griffin:
Peter, did you read the fine print [...]
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Peter Griffin:
They let Sarah Jessica Parker's fac [...]
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Chris Griffin:
See, my dad's smarter than yours.
[...]
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[a police officer pulls Peter over in his car]
Po [...]
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Brian Griffin:
Peter, being a hero is just being s [...]
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Peter Griffin:
I'm going to jump off this building [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Any problem caused by a tank can be [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
What the hell is this?
Lois Griff [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
Voice control... Hi, I'm Chris.
C [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
[to bully]
I've worked out why you [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
Damn it! I want pancakes! God! You [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Peter, there's a naked man on this c [...]
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[after Stewie gets taken into an ethnically divers [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Buttscratcher?
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Lois Griffin:
[to self]
You wanted to have a famil [...]
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Jesus:
[talking about a gun]
You know how to use o [...]
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Brian:
Peter, this is the final plague.
Peter:
Go [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[naked and drunk at a wine tasting] [...]
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[during a company sexual harassment training video [...]
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Lois Griffin:
We're going to Vape!
Peter Griffin: [...]
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TV Announcer:
[Teen Choice Awards]
Your host, Tank [...]
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Meg Griffin:
You could kill all the girls who are [...]
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Lois Griffin:
[Phone]
Oh hi, Bonnie! No I'm not do [...]
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Lois Griffin:
So he just left without saying anyth [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[posing as Britney Spears]
How abou [...]
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[Peter has plastic surgery]
Brian Griffin:
Hey, p [...]
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Brian Griffin:
[appalled by the students being stu [...]
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Quagmire:
[walks between two women]
sorry, I didnt [...]
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[Stewie and Brian in the mall]
Stewie Griffin:
10 [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
I'm leaving, Rupert! I'm sorry, bu [...]
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[at a job interview]
Interviewer:
So where do you [...]
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Meg Griffin:
Can you please teach me how to drive? [...]
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Kevin:
Could you hold my phone and point it at me? [...]
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Brian Griffin:
[Biblical Times]
You should go over [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
[In a Beauty Pageant]
Oh well, I g [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
I say mother, this hotdog has been [...]
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Meg Griffin:
Mom, there's no way I'm sleeping in C [...]
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Tumbling Class Parent:
Boys can be good at this un [...]
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[Family is talking about Peter's Drinking problem] [...]
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Doctor:
The Surgery was a Success, by which I mean [...]
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Brian Griffin:
Come on, I'll show the channel Lois [...]
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[Family is sitting at Table. After Apocalypse. Eat [...]
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Lois Griffin:
I'm going to give you a Sylvia Plath [...]
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Brian Griffin:
Do you ever just think "God, I'm Ma [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, [...]
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Peter Griffin:
That's the deal you make with the G [...]
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Peter Griffin:
What do you expect me to do with al [...]
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Peter Griffin:
But there you go. Everybody likes t [...]
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Lois Griffin:
My therapist said we should try a tr [...]
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Peter Griffin:
So if I walk through you, does that [...]
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Peter Griffin:
All right, here's my one-man show, [...]
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Swede:
Ooooh! Blackensippen!
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Ma Walton:
Goodnight, Jim-Bob! Goodnight, Jim-Bob? [...]
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[Brian tries to distract an angry mob of rednecks] [...]
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Susan Sarandon:
I'm Susan Sarandon. You might know [...]
|
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Stewie Griffin:
I mean, what kind of a man would I [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[Peter enters Meg's classroom weari [...]
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Tom Tucker:
In local news, a Buddy Cianci High Sch [...]
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Peter Griffin:
At least they don't put their femin [...]
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Meg Griffin:
Chris! You're hogging all the fans!
[...]
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[Peter and Chris are dressed in grass skirts]
Pet [...]
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Glen Quagmire:
[to feminist woman]
The plight of w [...]
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Chris Griffin:
If I had a hole in my neck, I'd put [...]
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Cult Leader:
Are you a confused adolescent despera [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
Like when the Fat Man worked out h [...]
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Death's Mother:
Put on a jacket or you'll get fros [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
Oh, let me guess. Another box with [...]
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Joe Swanson:
I broke Gandalf.
Glen Quagmire:
It's [...]
|
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Cleveland:
[Therapist]
I'm going to need more Twee [...]
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[upon learning that Meg is dating a nudist]
Lois [...]
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Glen Quagmire:
I used to bone that Volleyball.
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Chris Griffin:
All right, dad! Fight the machine! [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
At least I'll die mildly clever.
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Peter Griffin:
[shouts]
Rock lobster!
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Jenny:
Now that I have contracted the most infecti [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
Mom! Mommy! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mom! [...]
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Brian Griffin:
Well, if you want to be a hero righ [...]
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Peter Griffin:
I'm coming, Balloon!
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Brian:
Hey, if every woman dumped her husband for [...]
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Chris Griffin:
Where do you think you go when you [...]
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Bonnie Swanson:
Yeah, I don't want to bring a baby [...]
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[Peter is watching a beer commercial]
Announcer:
[...]
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Chris Griffin:
Dad, can you help me with my math h [...]
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Lois Griffin:
[shimmies around]
Remember this? Rem [...]
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Glen Quagmire:
Don't look at me like that. Fat chi [...]
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Cleveland:
You can stay with us, Meg, I just hope [...]
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[Lois is washing Stewie's hair in the sink]
Stewi [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Don't try to pawn this off on your s [...]
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Joe Swanson:
[siren wails]
Peter Griffin, we know [...]
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[looking around at a posh rehab clinic]
Peter Gri [...]
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Lois Griffin:
You all think Christmas just happens [...]
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Joe Swanson:
Peter, it's over.
Peter Griffin:
Ove [...]
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Peter Griffin:
I'd sell my soul to be famous.
[cu [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[in Sunday School with several chil [...]
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Glen Quagmire:
All I really know, is that I'm wear [...]
|
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Stewie Griffin:
Anyone wearing a nightgown at 2pm [...]
|
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Brian Griffin:
So you just do anything Oprah says, [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[doing the laundry]
Hey, where's my [...]
|
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Glen Quagmire:
Stop shaming us for not knowing the [...]
|
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Congressman:
Cigarettes killed my father... and ra [...]
|
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Doctor:
Mr. Griffin I'm saying you're fine.
Peter [...]
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Peter Griffin:
If I wasn't so sure you were a lesb [...]
|
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Stewie:
HA! That's so funny I forgot to laugh! Exc [...]
|
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Lois Griffin:
Meg... is that a real Prada bag? How [...]
|
D
|
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Mr. Fargas:
Today, we are going to dissect... a cl [...]
|
D
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Chris Griffin:
Are you and dad going to get a divo [...]
|
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Chris Griffin:
Cheesy Charlie's is great. They hav [...]
|
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|
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[the audience cheered and applause]
Lois Griffin: [...]
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[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom [...]
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[Stewie's bath turns to blood]
Stewie Griffin:
Ho [...]
|
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Chris Griffin:
I don't have to listen to you! You' [...]
|
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Peter Griffin:
[as Tom Hanks from Castaway, talkin [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
She packed my bags. Last night pre [...]
|
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|
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Woman on Tape:
We're going to add...
[tape interr [...]
|
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Peter Griffin:
Don't worry Quagmire, it's cool! Th [...]
|
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Peter Griffin:
[Peter's letter to Fox about "Coach [...]
|
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Peter Griffin:
Brothers and sisters fighting is as [...]
|
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Stewie Griffin:
The port is quite good.
Brian Gri [...]
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Chris Griffin:
Yay! Now I can be one of those filt [...]
|
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Stewie Griffin:
I'm too good for this Family, they [...]
|
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Peter Griffin:
1 million dollars!
Lois Griffin:
B [...]
|
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|
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[during a romantic dinner]
Lois Griffin:
[seducti [...]
|
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[Peter calls in sick to work]
Peter Griffin:
Mr W [...]
|
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Lois Griffin:
You know Mommy wouldn't usually inva [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[drunk, to male coworker]
Why don't [...]
|
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God:
Let me light that for you, honey.
[he points [...]
|
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Stewie Griffin:
Establishment, establishment, you [...]
|
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|
[to Brian]
Stewie Griffin:
How you uh, how you co [...]
|
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|
Chris Griffin:
Then that is what I shall do, unles [...]
|
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|
|
[watching a baseball game]
Stewie Griffin:
Why do [...]
|
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|
Peter Griffin:
I have no son! Except for Stewie... [...]
|
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|
|
Lois Griffin:
Chris, that's a terrible word. Nippl [...]
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Glen Quagmire:
[Quagmire slowly peeks out at Meg's [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Oh, I must give you my e-mail addr [...]
|
D
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|
Brian Griffin:
I'm really enjoying playing golf.
[...]
|
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|
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Stewie Griffin:
Can I see Mommy now?
British Nann [...]
|
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|
|
Stewie:
Look at him. He runs like a Welshman. Does [...]
|
D
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|
Peter Griffin:
[singing to Lois]
Lois, you can't s [...]
|
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|
Brandi:
John Lennon said that Love is the answer. [...]
|
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|
|
[waiting in line for bathroom after drinking prune [...]
|
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Glen Quagmire:
I felt guilty once, but she woke up [...]
|
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Stewie Griffin:
Mother, life is like a box of choc [...]
|
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|
Frenchman:
Bonnie, if I were a skunk and you were [...]
|
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|
Brian Griffin:
As Mr H L Mencken said, The Common [...]
|
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|
Peter Griffin:
Yes! We won the Lottery! I'm going [...]
|
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|
Stewie Griffin:
[looking in the fridge for a drink [...]
|
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Peter Griffin:
[Radio]
Carlos Spicyweiner here?
|
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|
John Edward:
[Peter is in the audience of "Crossin [...]
|
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|
|
TV Announcer:
And now from the makers of Paranorma [...]
|
D
|
|
Tom Tucker:
Now let's go to Greg The Weather Mime. [...]
|
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|
Peter Griffin:
[Bar burned down]
We need to find a [...]
|
D
|
|
[in a turtle-shaped pool float]
Stewie:
My God, I [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
Wow, she's really all in on this de [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
We don't know how to end these any [...]
|
D
|
|
[while Peter is changing Stewie]
Stewie:
No, you [...]
|
D
|
|
European See and Say:
The Elephant goes FWOMPF!
S [...]
|
D
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|
Tom Tucker:
This is Tom Tucker... 's evil twin Tod [...]
|
D
|
|
Gay Dog:
Hey! You guys got any cheese doodles?
[h [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
A Flautist, Peter!
|
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|
|
[Peter makes a joke during a Christmas play]
Spec [...]
|
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|
[the Griffins are being relocated to the South]
P [...]
|
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|
Stewie Griffin:
Someone's left the Fridge Door ope [...]
|
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|
|
Baliff:
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Hey, Mort, do these suppositories c [...]
|
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|
|
Dennis Miller:
I don't want to go on a rant, here, [...]
|
D
|
|
[an extremely obese Peter and Brian are sitting on [...]
|
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|
Stewie:
[plucks a banjo]
Oh! I feel so delightfull [...]
|
D
|
|
Carter Pewterschmiidt:
Gentlemen, this is Peter, t [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Wow, Louis CK?
Louis CK:
Yes.
Pet [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Why don't you take Joe caroling?
Pe [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
I bet I laugh so hard I shoot milk [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Could you sign this book please.
T [...]
|
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|
|
Teacher:
Excuse me, I'm just going to put on this [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
So when did you start using Invisal [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
The Great Gatsby! A book written by [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
I haven't cleaned since Bounty drop [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[to Dying Therapist]
Sorry, this f [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Leave it to me, I read a book about [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian:
You recently returned from the Philippines. [...]
|
D
|
|
Cleveland:
And that's how my Mom died!
[All laugh [...]
|
D
|
|
Meg Griffin:
Guess what I am.
Stewie Griffin:
Hmm [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
You, cameraman! Make sure you use [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
I'm just a dog, Lois. A stupid dog. [...]
|
D
|
|
Rev Robertson:
We're still here! How come we weren [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
Peter, only one gift was for charit [...]
|
D
|
|
Disabled Man:
[electronic voice]
That was pathetic [...]
|
D
|
|
Joe Biden:
Thanks for Shooting the Guy we said was [...]
|
D
|
|
Chris Griffin:
Hey, mom, look at these bananas.
P [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
I think your father's Gay.
Glen Qu [...]
|
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|
Brian Griffin:
Peter, are you sure, you've never h [...]
|
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|
Stewie Griffin:
You gonna go out into the Country [...]
|
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|
Lois Griffin:
To hell with the cameras! How could [...]
|
D
|
|
[on being the First Lady of "Petoria"]
Lois Griff [...]
|
D
|
|
Cleveland:
Oh Quagmire, you are what the Spanish c [...]
|
D
|
|
[Brian Singing to Stewie]
Brian Griffin:
I'll bet [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Lois told me to clean the windows, [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Step aside, its time for me to do m [...]
|
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|
Peter Griffin:
I won a Chainsaw! Some lady at the [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
I've done worse. I replaced Peter's [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
This can be a great opportunity for [...]
|
D
|
|
Death:
I'm gonna need that picture of Olmos'
[Edw [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Lois, the bar has been taken over b [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Peter, you're drunk again.
Peter Gr [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
So how was your day?
Brian Griffin: [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Well, fine. Until you put 'Gumbel 2 [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[Spiritual Journey]
Yeah, I'm Eat, [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
It's probably just the Pizza talkin [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
[Peter has taken a hose to the stai [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
I've been watching television so mu [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois:
You see Meg, I'm like one of those Bald eagl [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Glen, I need your help.
Glen Quagmi [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[thinks]
How wonderful it will be [...]
|
D
|
|
Meg Griffin:
You could kill all the girls who are [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Jeffrey. Take the 4.20 from Hounsl [...]
|
D
|
|
[Peter, Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire are forming a [...]
|
D
|
|
[Peter is visting Willy Wonka's chocolate factory] [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter:
Ah, Los Angeles! Everything's big, everythi [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
NOOOOOO. Silly rabbit, Trix are for [...]
|
D
|
|
German Storyteller:
There once was a little boy wh [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Well, Brian a Son! But he's 14 yea [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Hey, camera guy. Check this out.
[ [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Well, I wrote in to Penthouse Forum [...]
|
D
|
|
[Peter has just been offered a directing job, and [...]
|
D
|
|
Old Man:
Griffin, are you defecating right now?
P [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Mother, as first lady of the Ameri [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Lois, When I'm through with them, o [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[to Peter]
When the world is mine, [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
9/11 was bad! 9... 11!
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
I went to the Fancington's Academy f [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
[Rehab Counsellor]
First off, to sa [...]
|
D
|
|
Kevin:
Dad, the fish got away.
Joe Swanson:
The h [...]
|
D
|
|
[watching The Brady Bunch]
Dad:
Greg, I'm afraid [...]
|
D
|
|
[the eggs in Peter's beard have just hatched]
Pet [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[accidently rips off the tail of B [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
OK, Rupert, what do you think of o [...]
|
D
|
|
Dying Gay Therapist:
It's from Romeo and Juliet! B [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Hey, let's play a game called "I ne [...]
|
D
|
|
[Peter with Charles Manson and the Manson Family]
[...]
|
D
|
|
[Shamus has four wooden limbs]
Glen Quagmire:
So, [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
There is no Peter, only Zool!
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
Peter, you've never done anything cr [...]
|
D
|
|
[Brian and Peter are putting a crib together]
Bri [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
Okay, I got it, I got it. If you c [...]
|
D
|
|
Lois Griffin:
We'll continue this discussion tonig [...]
|
D
|
|
Stewie Griffin:
[to his grandmother]
I smell death [...]
|
D
|
|
[during the preview for the new action movie about [...]
|
D
|
|
Rising Stars Instructor:
Look, it's your first mar [...]
|
D
|
|
[the Jetsons parody]
Jane:
Oh my God. George.
Ge [...]
|
D
|
|
Janet:
Hi. Cookie?
Stewie Griffin:
Well, it's Ste [...]
|
D
|
|
[Chris hunts Meg with a "bogger" on his finger and [...]
|
D
|
|
Peter Griffin:
Ah, it's a Mustache kind of morning [...]
|
D
|
|
Brian Griffin:
I was left to die!
|
D
|
|
Optician:
I recommend these frames. They were made [...]
|
D
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Peter Griffin:
I only drank so that the Statue Of [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
This isn't the first time my small [...]
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[watching a news report about Peter's old teacher [...]
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Carter Pewterschmidt:
Babs is in the Sanatorium. I [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
[talking to a very old prostitute] [...]
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Caillou:
Dad, why are we sitting on the washing ma [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Why are you here? The doctor said Pe [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
Ah, you bastard, you'll burn in he [...]
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[Brian is working as a guide dog and has taken a b [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Hello, 1950s Doctor. My friends her [...]
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Crackle:
Those freakin' elves, man. They just came [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Oh, okay, here's another riddle. A [...]
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Peter Griffin:
You know, some people think that da [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
Ah, the World of Books! "Horton he [...]
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Brian Griffin:
You know what might be a thrill for [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[as a Princess]
This is great. I de [...]
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Disabled Man:
[with electronic voice]
A sphincter [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Peter, did you paste a new picture o [...]
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Brian Griffin:
Excuse me, would you like to taste [...]
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Pablo:
Santa can't be Asian. He doesn't drive 20 m [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
It's not that I want to kill Lois. [...]
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Brian Griffin:
Norwegians can't Dance!
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Peter Griffin:
Brian, there's a message in my Alph [...]
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Bully:
We're four boys and you're one boy, so we'r [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
[pointing a mind-control device at [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[Shatner Q&A]
In the Episode where [...]
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Stewie:
[talking over speaker]
Welcome Man in Whit [...]
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William Shatner:
Now men, we are about to go on a [...]
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Black Knight:
Hey, what's your fat ass doing here? [...]
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Brian Griffin:
Face it Peter, you get competitive [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Quiet, sweetie. Men are talking.
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Tom Tucker:
And the winning theme for the Harvest [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Meg wants me to give her a bunch of [...]
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Diane Simmons:
Our suspect may look something like [...]
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Glen Quagmire:
Don't have kids, Joan, it's a big m [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Yeah, I'm looking for some toilet t [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[Forrest Gump]
Mama always said Lif [...]
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Peter Griffin:
And as you barrel down the Freeway, [...]
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Doctor Hartman:
I used to work here, you know!
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Coach:
Ah, thirty years of smoking and I'm still a [...]
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Woman Running Rehab Clinic:
What's your name?
Pet [...]
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Meg Griffin:
Mom! Mom! Chris found a jar in the ba [...]
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["Hollywood Squares" parody]
Contestant:
I'll tak [...]
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Meg Griffin:
Can I be in the play, Mom?
Stewie Gr [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Now, let's drink until we uncover r [...]
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Peter:
...and there's no way I'm going in the back [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
You look like Snoopy and it makes [...]
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[at Peter's imaginary version of Cheesy Charlie's] [...]
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Arnie:
Every second I'm not having sex with a hous [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Say, what happened to the car wash [...]
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Brian Griffin:
Me? I like the sauce...
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[repeated line]
Stewie Griffin:
Good Lord!
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Lois Griffin:
Peter, punish Chris.
Peter Griffin: [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
[Abandoned at the Playground]
Well [...]
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[on the phone]
Chris Griffin:
So, what are you we [...]
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Meg Griffin:
Somebody's in the closet!
Jeff Foxwo [...]
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Peter Griffin:
I did not care for The Godfather. I [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[Peter writing a letter to Fox]
If [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[during a camping trip in a beautif [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
She said a swear!
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Quagmire:
Hello there, cutie. How old are you?
Gi [...]
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[repeated line]
Stewie:
What the deuce?
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Stewie Griffin:
Why the hell did we get off here? [...]
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Brian:
Peter, your excuses are lamer than FDR's le [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[while peeing into a urinal]
Fire! [...]
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[looking at himself in a spoon]
Tom Tucker:
I'm s [...]
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Meg Griffin:
I love you, Mom!
Lois Griffin:
I
[i [...]
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Judge:
Mr. Griffin, we have undisputable evidence [...]
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[Peter is watching "Happy Days". Someone tries to [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
[after Lois tries to feed Stewie h [...]
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Brian Griffin:
The ol' alma matter. I tell you, th [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Since I took over as President our [...]
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Brian Griffin:
Ah, if my memory serves me, this is [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Okay, Doc, let's give her some pill [...]
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Joe Swanson:
I hate to be the bearer of bad shoes [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
[singing and pointing to rifle and [...]
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[Peter and his friends have formed a rock band and [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
I know this guy who sells pills th [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
This day started off so great! I w [...]
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Lois Griffin:
Growing one carrot, taking up time./ [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Well, they live in a crummy neighbo [...]
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[Peter is talking in his sleep]
Peter Griffin:
Oh [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
You do me an honour, lieutenant, b [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[singing]
Lois makes me take the ra [...]
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Peter Griffin:
And now for "The Great Gatsby", a b [...]
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Carter Pewterschmiidt:
Peter, I see you're still f [...]
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[Joe Swanson is in a fight with the Grinch]
Grinc [...]
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Cleveland:
I have a weird fat boy too. Would you l [...]
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Peter Griffin:
Hey look, there's Oral Roberts Univ [...]
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[on buying a coffin...]
Peter Griffin:
I'll take [...]
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Doctor:
Mr. Griffin, all your tests came back nega [...]
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Cleveland:
Public urination is just wrong. Except [...]
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Lois Griffin:
All right, Stewie, hold on to these [...]
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[Lois is upset about a cult that is worshipping Pe [...]
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Stewie Griffin:
They're getting nude! I mustn't wa [...]
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Peter Griffin:
[Pirate]
Let us have our fill of br [...]
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[Stewie is sitting in between Meg and Peter dresse [...]
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[Peter has accidentally unleashed the 10 plagues]
[...]
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